Amateur Diaries Part 2

It was another battle with Josh.   I really really did not want to lose my battle against Josh.  I was worried if I lost he would post on his Facebook wall that he defeated the “Young Buck” or something along those lines.

I AM NOT THE YOUNG BUCK!

But as the match progressed I was having a hard time staying focused.

I was lost in my thoughts.  “Did Ronald Reagan lose his mind?”  “Did The Press crucify Bill Clinton too much?”  “Is the Military-Industrial Complex a real thing?”   “Will I ever find true love?”

I am missing balls in the net.    ZING! ZANG! WHOMP!    “Ace!” Josh yells out in his annoying voice.

I gotta keep it together.

I see a chipmunk find a nut next to the court.  I am completely lost in contemplation.  I wonder if that chipmunk has a family.   Do they love each other the same as us humans?

“Ace!” Josh yells out.

Damn.  I am getting spanked.

A beautiful lady walks by.  I lose it.   There are just too many distractions.  “Is that a single lady?” “Will she by my wife?”

Why do women always wear their sexy clothes to work out in?

“ACE!”  Josh’s serve flies past my racquet.

Man, this is just like that movie, Wimbledon, everything is happening kind of cheesy and I don’t even get to sleep with Kirsten Dunst!   Damn.   I really do not want Josh to post on Facebook about defeating me.

(End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT)

The Leader (August 4th) (He leads People)

“I have an announcement.”

The people were excited.   “Oh boy an announcement!”

“I have decided on an important decision using my decisiveness.”   The leader said.

A man in the audience stared with fervent passion.  “Of course great leader!”

The leader continued.  “All marriages are now dissolved.   They are no more.   If you have joined us as a married couple, then you are no longer married.  It is done.”

“YES GREAT LEADER!”  People shouted.

One man named George had a frown on his face.  He did not look happy about this news.

The Leader continued.  “And now I have a new announcement.   As of this moment I am the only husband.  All women who were married and then single are now married to me.   Welcome to the marriage!”

“YES GREAT LEADER!”   One woman yelled out.

Another lady in the crowd named Carina did not look happy at this announcement.

The leader looked on at his followers.  “I look forward to the official and gigantic consummation.”

Lizard People?

Who are the world’s leaders?

Are they humans who have climbed the political ladder?

Or are they Lizard people?

“Reptilians (also called reptoids,[1] reptiloids, saurians, or Draconians) are purported reptilian humanoids that play a prominent role in fantasy, science fiction, ufology, and conspiracy theories.[2][3] The idea of reptilians on Earth was popularized by David Icke, a conspiracy theorist who claims shape-shifting reptilian aliens control Earth by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies. Icke has claimed on multiple occasions that many of the world leaders are, or are possessed by, so-called reptilians.” -Wikipedia

The correct term is “Reptilians”

According to David Icke; he was once a Footballer and then a Sports Journalist; he met a psychic and this psychic claimed he was a new Jesus Christ!   He became ridiculed because he was confident that he was the new messiah.  But then he got busy!  He got busy writing books!

“The Biggest Secret: The Book That Will Change The World”

and also: “Human Race Get Off Your Knees: The Lion Sleeps No More”     Those are a couple of his books

David Icke pushes that: 1) the world is run by Reptilians 2) The Moon is a hollowed-out Planetoid 3) It’s all part of an evil conspiracy-Rothschild-Illuminati kind of deal where the Reptilians want to take over the world

According to Vice News, this guy has sold “20 million” copies of his books and he gives lectures to crowds of 6,000 people.  People believe this guy.

You can decide for yourself.   But ask yourself.  Are Humans running the world?  OR is the world being controlled by Lizard people?

-DJ Robo Biscuit

(Sunday May 1st 2016)

 

 

Noodle World (Cereal)(March 20)

John Every walked through the supermarket.

He reached the breakfast section.     His eyes stopped on a cereal box with a picture of the Holy being itself, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, on the cover.    The Noodle Diety had many noodles touching chocolate balls on the cover (these balls were in a bowl of milk).

John read the name, “Noodle-O’s.”   He then read the slogan at the bottom, “All touched by His Noodle.”

John shook his head.

John Every looked around the breakfast section.  It appeared that almost all of the cereal boxes had a Noodle Monster on it.     Except for one solitary box in the corner … … …

-End of Entry (Cereal)

The Gathering (March 16th) (Noodle)

John sat in the basement.  Many people were excited.

A man with white hair and wild eyes was at the podium.  He was ready to address the crowd.

“This world is a complicated place.   There are many people around.   Some are more pure than others.   But we must think about the future!”

John wasn’t sure where this rhetoric was going.

“In order for the purity of this race to maintain we must be able to plan.   The act of Love must not be taken lightly!   There is a consequence!  There is the continuation of life!”

“Only the CHOSEN among us may be the Seed-Bearers.    A Birther can handle the seed of anyone.  However, we do not want the seeds of the tainted to enter the Birther and pollute this world!   Being a Seed-Bearer is the highest honor and it must be respected so we can maintain purity!”

Some of the men in the crowd were intense with their eyes.  You could see they deeply wanted to be the Seed-Bearers.  There were some other men at the gathering, men of a dark skin who did not look as happy.

The White-haired man continued.  “We are under attack from all sides!  As a people we must be strong!  And the people that come after us must be strong!  They must be a pure people!”         There were men in the crowd who nodded in agreement.    The men with dark complexion were not happy.

John Every thought within his mind, “I don’t know if this is the right place for me … ”

John slowly exited the basement.  He could see that some of those men were ready to listen to the White-Haired man (no matter what he said).

-End of Entry (Gathering)

Working with Marko (March 16th)(Milk)

John Every worked with a man named Marko.   Marko was a handsome man and he had dark hair.   Sometimes Marko liked to discuss his cuban heritage (John did not care).

They worked in a nice establishment.   They both had the same manager and there was a refrigerator.   Within this refrigerator there was a supply of milk.    The milk was for the organization.

All employees were allowed ONE item of milk per day.  It was company policy.

Marko enjoyed drinking milk.  He also liked stealing milk from the refrigerator.

John had witnessed this before.  John usually did not mind BUT one time Marko stole some of John’s milk.    … … No.    John thought in his head, “No.”

John Every told the manager.    The manager looked on the company video log (there was a surveillance camera aimed at the refrigerator).       The cameras showed 16 times that Marko had stolen milk from the refrigerator.

The manager called Marko into his office.

“Marko, we have proof of you stealing milk.”  He showed Marko all of the footage.  “Marko, that is clearly you.   This goes against company policy.   I will either terminate you at the end of the day or you can choose to resign with dignity.”

Marko walked out of the office.  He was embarrassed.  He wrote down a note and gave it to the manager.  Marko then collected his things and left the organization.

The manager announced to all workers that Marko had quit.  He read the note:  “It seems to me that working at this establishment was simply Not The Noodle’s plan.  The almighty Noodle has sent me a sign.  I am quitting today and moving on with my career.  Sincerely, Marko.”

John was somewhat confused.  He witnessed Marko stealing the milk.  He had a feeling his manager gave Marko the option of quitting.   John just did not think the Holy Noodle was involved at all in this scenario … …

-End of Entry (Rationalization)

More Noodle World (March 12)

John Every left the sermon feeling excited and somewhat confused.  John could tell that Pastafarianism was a strange religion but it seemed that Christianity had some strangeness to it as well.

“I want to have some faith but I don’t want to be a crazy person.” John exclaimed.

He sighed.  He had to mentally prepare himself for work on Monday.

In recent news, Tina Creation did not have to prepare for work on Monday.  Tina Creation was excited.  She was putting on a nice dress as she was going to “make an appearance” at a Dinner.   Tina looked at herself in the mirror, she wanted to be sure that her oversize butt was obviously noticeable within her dress.

Tina sighed. “Making these appearances is tough but somebody has to do it.”

Tina looked in the mirror some more.  She made a variety of faces at herself in preparation for many photos, any of them could end up on the cover of a Magazine seen on a rack in a grocery store check-out aisle.

Sometimes Tina talked to herself.  “I bet if I just did SOMETHING I could get onto more magazines.   And I don’t know if I’m on TV enough…”

Tina had recently been having a very public romance with rapper/artist Dante South.  He was usually in the news and his relationship with Tina had been mutually beneficial.

Tina’s phone was buzzing.  It was her agent.  She picked up.

“Hey Tina.  Me, Andre.  Have you ever considered making a sex tape?” … … …

-End of Entry, Noodle World (fame)