UnNamed Dave – The Story continues

The workers gather in the Glass Room.

The Sales Director began to speak, “Alright I hope everyone enjoyed their cookie.  There have been some changes happening and we want to reward you for your hard work.  These changes are good changes and it will lead to more money in your pocket.”

The other Sales Director spoke up, “Come on guys.  Let’s have fun with it.”

The Sales Director said “We have money for Steve and we have money for Diamo.  Good job on hitting those numbers.”

The room clapped as the two workers received some cash money.

The meeting then took a slightly darker turn.

“Now we have some changes happening.  We don’t need anybody with a negative attitude okay?  There is nothing worse than somebody on a team with a negative attitude bringing the whole team down.  These changes are going to be positive and if you are going to be down in the dumps then it’s not going to work.  Come to work and put a smile on your face!”

Dave was thinking to himself:  I guess they think morale is down because we are unhappy people.  There is no way it is the leadership, right?  It is easier for them if they give us cookies and just tell us to be happy.

The Sales Director continued, “Okay.  Great work everybody so let’s get back on those phones and sell something.  I know we all want that cash!”

The workers exited the GlassRoom and moved towards the desks.


UnNamed Dave Part 5 – The Meeting

Dave entered the meeting room.

His teammates were there.  Dave was happy for a break from his work and staring at his screen.    His mind will enjoy a break in the meeting but he will still have to show discipline.

Dave is not excited to hear Max Power.  Max Power is a coked out douchebag sales trainer who the team has the pleasure of listening to on audiobook.  Mr Power has a bestselling book called the “The Big Action.”  He thinks the key to winning in sales is to relentlessly take Big Action and just attack everything with huge force.  Instead of making 20 phone calls, you should make 120 phone calls.  Instead of setting up 3 meetings, you should set up 30 meetings.  You get the idea.  The Sales Director with the typo emails is a big fan of Max Power.

“The Big Action” has about 13 chapters.  The book could have most likely been 2 or 3 chapters but there is a good amount of fluff and repeating of the same things.

Don’t be a loser man.  In this world you need to win win win.  When somebody tells me No I can feel that they want to say Yes and then I press hard!  This world has got winners and losers and you need to pick who you want to be.  I want to be a winner.  I’m winning all the time baby!  My editor told me I should not say this but I am going to anyway, Get off your fat ass and take The Big Action!  People will try to stop you but don’t let them.  You are being a loser!  The Big Action is what you need!  Is this your job or is this a career?  How will you feed your family?  You need that Big Action baby!  -Max Power

The above transcript is how much of the book is.  As Dave looks around the table it is hard for him to tell if his fellow workers are listening to Max Power or if they are simply daydreaming while staring at the table.

After they finish the chapter, their manager is ready to do some motivation.  The manager says, “Okay team I hope we are ready to do The Big Action!  It is important to me that we hit our numbers.  My goal is that everyday, we are on top of the number boards.  You each have 500 prospects so I don’t see why each of you can’t be on top of that number board.  When I was in your position, one time I was sad because I thought I may get fired and then that motivated me to work to keep my job!  So I want you guys to know, if you don’t work hard then the Sales Director may fire you.”

Dave was having an internal monologue: “What is this bullshit?  I think I need to start hunting for a new job where I am not being informed that I could be fired everyday.  This is not healthy.”

The manager continued on.  The manager was talking about the numbers and how to go about calling the prospects.

The manager looked at Dave.  “Dave do you know what you need?”

Dave:  What is that?

Manager:  Focus.

The Manager continued, “you need to have focus.  I can tell that when you are about to make a sale that you get mega focused on what you are about to sell.  But what you really need to do is focus on all of the prospects.  Once you can focus on one hundred at a time then you will be successful.”  The manager said this with emphasis as if there was a communication of deep meaning.  Clearly the manager did not see the conflict between the idea of focus and “shotgun-strategy” (or Wide-Net approach).

Dave thought: “Oh okay I get it.  Instead of Focusing on one or two things, I need to focus on one hundred things.  Wow!  Makes perfect sense.”

The Manager continued to talk for a little bit.  “Okay team let’s go make some calls!”

As Dave got up to walk out the door he was thinking to himself, “My job hunt begins tonight.”



UnNamed Dave Part 4 – Motivational Meeting

Dave was busy at work.

He was dialing his prospects.  He was emailing his prospects.  He was trying to gain information on what his customers were interested in purchasing.

He received an email on his company email from the Sales Director.  It was titled “Sales Motivation”

Let’s make today a great day and a very good day yes.  Let successs b your duty and your obligation and attack it like a lion eats the gassele n the fields of Africaa.  The only person who is holding you back is you and now is the time to unleash the beast of you.  Lets have massive activity and attack our goals with zest.  And who wants money?  You do.  DonT let fear hold you back from being great.

Reps with 1 Transaction this week:





Reps with Zero Transactions this week:



-End of email.


Dave had read the email with a loathing feeling.  Every typo stung him as he had worked so hard in English class growing up but he knew that the Sales Director simply typed out his stream of consciousness email without proofreading it.  Dave was not sure if today would be a great day because he could feel the pressure of not making a sale yet.  He was confident his manager would be reminding him that he needed a sale.

His manager returned from the bathroom.  The manager needed about 45 seconds to login and read the email from the Sales Director.

“What do you have for me today Dave?”  The manager asked.

“I am trying to get in contact with this dude in South Africa and I have some interest from a client in India.”  Dave said.

“Sell it.” The manager said.

Dave knew the manager had no interest in the details of the client.  The manager simply wanted to see a transaction of 1000 USD or more pop up “on the board.”

Dave let out a sigh and continued his work.


UnNamed Dave Part 2 January 25th

Dave was doing his job and working.  He was enjoying his time responding to incoming emails where his customers told him they needed a week or they needed 4 weeks to decide on the product.   At 9:15AM all of the managers had to attend a meeting.  Dave does not know what transpires in the meeting of the managers.  But Dave would have to guess the meeting of managers involves the Director of Sales looking at them and telling them to “get their Shiz together and that they need a sale or else.”    It is of no surprise to Dave that when his manager returns in a stomping fashion there is a quick team meeting called.

The manager looks pissed.

“Dave, we gotta pick it up.  You have been here for one hour and 15 minutes and you only have 10 calls.  We need more.”

The manager looks at the reps.

“Guys, make the fudging calls.”

Dave is slightly distressed.  He thought the goal was to make sales, not to simply make a certain number of phone calls.  Was the goal to hit a certain call number?

The manager and the Director seemed to be focused on the achieving of a metric as opposed to encouraging individual reps to find and get sales.

The Breakdown of values.


UnNamed Dave January 25th

Dave wakes up and he gets in his car.  He wants to move quickyu; an he has already got n up and he plans on getting work quick.  He wants to be at work by 8am or earlier because he knows he will have to wrk 8 hours.

Dave’s work will be easier if he can be there before his manager shows up to work.  His manager hounds him with questions and demands.  Dave wants autonomy in his work.  He has many accounts to work and not much time.


He used to find meaning in his work at ComboTech he liked the idea that he was selling a useful product to software developers.   He thought he was doing consultative selling.  He wanted to align the needs of the clients he was selling to with what the product has to offer.  Ideally saving time and money for the developer.

However, the management of ComboTech does not care about the desires of the developer.  The only interest of ComboTech is to earn revenue and hit a certain goal by the end of the month.

Dave was okay with his job.  He was not the greatest rep within the organization but he was not the worse and he was usually able to achieve the expected metric by the end of the workday.

But something eerie was occurring at ComboTech.   The sales were drying up.   The customers were not purchasing as easily as they were before.   Reps could not sell anything to anybody.

One hole that ComboTech had was that they provide free versions to the whole planet so anyone could get the software of ComboTech for free.   The reps of ComboTech (like Dave) would need to contact these free downloaders and figure out if this person was one dude in his underwear sitting at home or if it was a skilled developer working for an organization.


A new strategy is being rolled out at ComboTech.  The Sales Director is scrambling because sales are not coming in.  He used to send out an email everyday that would inform the reps who did not have a sale and talk about such things as effort and laziness with no respect to things such as luck or maybe a sale falling through.  simply the assumption that the sales rep was a lazy rep who did not put in effort.    But, the email has changed.  It was about community and being in this together and working together BullPoop.

There was a shift from making a respectable number of calls of 50 to 60 phone calls.  That was the old expectation.  and the new goal was to make 90 calls a day or 100 calls a day.   “More Activity!”  If we just do more then we will sell more.     No respect for the idea that the organization is going to be pestering the customers and destroying the leads.  When you call one person 3 times a day and then call them the next time 3 times a day just blowing them up, that is only going to annoy and irritate people.   “Oh, they are ignoring us.”    “You reps are lazy.”  Thinks the Sales Director.    Where is the respect for human decency???       Who wants to be called 3 times a day and emailed 2 times a day for something they did not ask for???

Dave was not happy with his work.  His work became meaningless and he saw himself as somebody who was no longer a salesman but he was a Telemarketer.  Using his phone and email to bother and annoy and pester a person until a response was acquired.  That is not a way to gain the respect of anybody and will simply create a negative reputation within the world.

(To be continued)


Being a Car Salesman (American Life)

I listened to an episode of this American Life with Ira Glass.  It was called 129 Cars.

The whole episode involves a car dealership trying to meet their end of month goal of selling 129 cars.   The episode is very interesting.   Warning:  There is some profanity.

If you want to learn more about what it is actually like inside the world of selling cars then this is pretty educational.

I have personally listened to it and I give it an 8 out of 10.   10 being “amazing life changing”

It gets the DJ ROBO BISCUIT “Stay Fluffy” Approval   (Follow the Link below)