I was worried. I did not want Lululemon to make an appearance. My feeble man-brain and crotch can only handle so much estrogen nearby. The last time that a beautiful Yoga Pants girl ran by it completely derailed me.
I was battling my rival Josh. Today, he walked with swagger. He was feeling extra confident. His face carried a smugness that I just wanted to punch. Punch HARD!
I was preparing to toss my ball in order to hit a beautiful kick (topspin) serve. But in the corner of my eye, the devil had sent one of his minions. There she was. She was sweaty. But the sweat was like dots of ambrosia (the nectar of the Gods). Just wearing a sports bra and form-fitting yoga pants. I think I was in love. She did not look that different from my old flame, LuluLemon (I have to call her LuluLemon because I do not know her name).
I lost the game. My mind was totally on new Yoga Pants girl.
As me and Josh changed sides he was blabbering about how he had added Pinterest to his collection of Social Media. (In my mind: Nobody cares Josh.) He mentioned something about “pinning” a tennis racquet to his board or whatever after he defeated me.
I really wanted to defeat Josh. But I also wanted to make sweet love to these yoga pants girls.
Tennis is hard.
(End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT)
I was on court battling hard.
I just missed a backhand in the net.
I was working extra hard to defeat my opponent! I MUST win!
It was looking like a tough match. I had to play one of my rivals, JOSH! I was very worried about losing. If I lost, he was sure to post some kind of lame status on his Facebook Wall. I could not allow that to happen.
I went to serve. As I threw my ball up in the air, something caught my eye. I swung and missed!
“HA HA ! Fault!” Josh yelled at me.
I looked to my left. It was only a squirrel. Damn! I thought extra hard inside my own mind.
I was battling hard for my points. But Josh won the game. We had to change sides.
“Man, I am hitting the balls great.” Said Josh.
Josh is extra annoying and he enjoys telling me how good he is at tennis. I MUST defeat him to silence him.
We began to play points again. I was soon to strike a backhand but then a young woman ran by the courts. She was jogging. I think she might have been a goddess. She had brown hair and was in GREAT physical shape. I could tell that she was wearing LuluLemon brand yoga pants. I began to wonder “What is her name?” “Is she close to my age?”
“Game.” Said Josh.
CRAP! LuluLemon girl cost me that whole game. I was completely out of it. Now my whole mind was on LuluLemon. Will she return? Please God, I hope she is running in a circle so she shall return and see me defend my honor against the evil Josh.
(End of Entry, Tennis Diaries)