Metrics Monsters and Double Cups

It was raining.  The parking lot had cars.  White cars red cars gray cars black cars.  Past this lot is another lot.  Our building is brick and across the lot is another brick building and across from that is another brick building.  Money is made in these buildings.  On this day it was raining.

The nice lady with the long hair walked into the ladies room.  She sat on the toilet and cried quietly.  It was 9:30 and she was worried.  The Metric had been pushed up.   She was ready to work when she walked in this morning.  But her manager had sent out an email.  The email was demanding. “There shall be NO TALKING.” “We need 75+ calls today.”  The email was an angry email and a little bit nasty.  The manager who sent the email had just left a meeting where her manager was not happy with her.   The power of the trickle down.   The previous day there was a manager for the managers and when this manager of managers was leaving the office he saw two workers who were talking and laughing.  Keep in mind, this talking and laughing was on company time.  These people are not paid to be social and happy.  They are paid to work! and produce! and create profit!  The boss needs a dollar and you need your dime!

Some walk over to the coffee machine.  They are dismayed as they move towards the machine.  The machine has been moved.  It is now off of its table and in three pieces.  There is a man who is scruffy with a blonde mustache and he is guffawing and huffing as he bends and turns and moves things and stares at the machine.  He is the repairman.  His butt is slightly revealed as he bends down which is of course a stereotype of repairman and is being used by the author of this story right now.  The workers of the company who must make their calls to hit their quotas walk to the cooler to get a Coca-Cola.  The cooler has recently increased in size which must mean that profits are increasing.   The company is only slightly happy.  There is movement.  Some workers are fired after 3 months.  Some don’t make it past 2 months.  They fire 2.  They hire 6.  They fire 1 of the new ones.  One of the new 6 also quits.  The profits are real and the Soda cooler grows in size.  The workers of the calls need their soda pop in order to caffeine up and seize the day.  If the 75 calls is not met by the end of the day, things will not be good on the next day.  The manager of manager will notice on his screen and most likely send out an email to the manager of the workers.  The manager of the call-makers will ask them “are you pushing yourself?  Are you reaching your potential?  Are you having success?”

The workers could answer the question.  But the answer is not that important.  After they answer, the manager of the call-makers will let them know that their previous effort was not satisfactory to the upper ups.  The calls must be hit or their will be consequences.  It is veiled what the consequence will be.  Is it a firing?  Is it a termination?  The workers who make the calls or only cogs in the machine.  They are bags of meat which pick up the phone and dial.  Although it might seem that these cogs are humans who have a wife and a daughter and a dog and house and a car; that is not the way it is because these lazy workers are not hitting their metrics so they must go.

The crying lady is on her terminal.  She is ready to make many calls.   She does not want the receivers to answer because she wants speed!  She wants her speed and she wants to call the same number twice!  Then she will have two calls on one account and if she can find 32 accounts where she can make two calls then it will be easy for her to hit her goal.  But she knows every call needs an email but she can not do that because it will take too long for her to send a personal email.   She looks around.  Everyone is on the phone.  She is not on the phone.  She must get on the phone.

She receives a badly written email that is double annoying for her as she has a college degree and worked hard in English classes.   “Howw Bad Do U want it?  Persisstence iz the key to success you must succeed or you are lazy.  Be ambitions and jack up your amazingness.  Hit the sales numbers and you can keep your job.  Congrats to you what a privvilige and honor for u the worker!  Bee The Best and now if your time of GrReatness.” Love, Big Manager of Managers.

The once-crying lady dies a tiny bit inside and prepares herself to make her calls.  She has bills to pay and needs to keep her job.

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Working For The Friendly Man

Check out this podcast from This American Life.  This is a special episode that has only stories from Scott Carrier who has a unique voice and storytelling on the radio.

The first and second act are the best.  It involves traveling and getting stories with Scott’s Unique style.   Scott Carrier has won a Peabody for his work with Radio.

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/181/the-friendly-man

Enjoy!

Being a Car Salesman (American Life)

I listened to an episode of this American Life with Ira Glass.  It was called 129 Cars.

The whole episode involves a car dealership trying to meet their end of month goal of selling 129 cars.   The episode is very interesting.   Warning:  There is some profanity.

If you want to learn more about what it is actually like inside the world of selling cars then this is pretty educational.

I have personally listened to it and I give it an 8 out of 10.   10 being “amazing life changing”

It gets the DJ ROBO BISCUIT “Stay Fluffy” Approval   (Follow the Link below)

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/513/129-cars

November 1st, 2016

The man awoke from his slumber.

The man was confused and he could not recall how it was that he arrived at that spot.  He opened his eyes and his head was throbbing.  His memory seemed foggy.

He looked up to his left and he saw a large tower plunging upwards into the clouds.  The outsides walls were a cream color.  It moved up and up and up into the clouds and he could not see the top.

He could not feel his right arm.  He turned and stared.  He was stunned.   His right arm was mechanical!  He lifted his flesh-elbow to examine the mechanical forearm and hand.  They were robotic indeed and lacked feeling.  He could see the movement but it could not be felt.

The man wondered “How did I get here? And what happened to my arm?”

A large voice boomed out of the sky.   “You have been cast down!”    “This tower olds the secrets you desire.   Upon reaching the top you will have your questions answered.”   The voice was masculine and powerful.

“Who are you?”  The man asked.

“Andromis.  I am the ruler of this land.”  The voice boomed out.

“I don’t know who you are.” The man said.

“You once did!   But you have been cast down!”

“Has my memory been altered?”  The man asked.

“It has indeed.  But I have the answers you seek.  Once your mission is complete you may return to the pinnacle of this tower and take back the knowledge you once had.”  Andromis boomed from above.

“I don’t understand.  What mission?”  Asked the man.

Andromis did not respond.   But a beam of light came down from the sky and landed on grass near the man.   There was a parchment caught in the light.

His legs still worked.  And his left arm still worked.  It appeared that only his right arm had been altered into a machine arm.   The man moved towards the light.    He grabbed the parchment and read.

The top of the tower is what you seek.  But now you are a man of the meek.   A key is what you shall gather.    The 4 pieces you shall search for.   They are scattered.   Be weary of those you meet along the way.   Some will suppress and some shall thrive.   Each piece of the key has my Alpha.    Good luck on your journey.

Upon reading the parchment and disintegrated into dust.

“4 pieces?”

The man turned towards the open horizon and walked.  He began his walk in search of the 4 pieces.

(End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT)

Good Content (Enjoy)(10/22/16)

Enjoy The Content

Final Battle of Naruto vs Sasuke

 

What So not – High you are (Branchez remix)

 

Books That Could be Interesting:

“Moonwalking With Einstein”

“The Beanie Baby Bubble The Dark Side of Cute”

“MisBehaving” by Richard Thaler

“Ready Player One” — If you enjoy gaming and nerdy stuff

“2666” by Roberto Bolano

HARLAN ELLISON — “I have no mouth and I can not scream” and “Repent Harlequin! Goes the TickTockMan” — Short Stories

The work of Frederik Pohl – “The Tunnel Under the World” — Short Story

The work of Murakami (Japanese author)

 

Movie recommendations:

 

The End of the Tour – David Foster Wallace

War Dogs (The Movie) (with Jonah Hill)

The Spectacular Now ( Biscuit likes it)

Richard Nixon Documentary on Youtube, posted by Besnik A. Behluli

Whiplash (2014)

Twelve Monkeys (with Brad Pitt)

 

I also recommend “WiseCrack” the YouTube Channel

And just general exploration of the Internet, that is how you find the good stuff!