World’s Greatest Job Offer (Feb 25th)

 

Recruiter:  Mr RoboBiscuit, it seems like you are a really awesome guy.  You appear to be energetic and charismatic.  You appear to be just the man we are looking for.   We have an open position and think you are the man for the job.    It will involve lots of cold sales calls.  The pay is bad, you will be working in a closet (no lighting), and the hours are intense.  But I think there is good potential for you here.

(Posted a Sticker of a cup of coffee eating a Muffin)

Me:  Sir,  It is truly an honor to receive such an offer.  I am excited!  I am equipped for cold calling!  Bad Base pay is okay as long as I can earn commission!  The closet is totally fine as long as there is a computer screen and chances to leave the closet!   Let me know how I can move forward in the hiring process!

Recruiter:   Mr RoboBiscuit,  It is great to hear back from you so soon!  Well the good news for you is that you will earn excellent commission!  The other upside is that there is no base pay (upside for me).  As for the closet situation, well I’ll leave that open for negotiation.  I’m glad to hear that you want to move forward in the hiring process.  For the first step we are going to need to receive your resume and a 20″ head shot.   After reviewing these pieces we will meet with you at a gentleman’s club where you will pay for a night that we will all remember.   Depending on the success of that night we will determine what the outcome going forward will be.    I look forward to hearing back from you.       Sincerely,   DefinitelyARealCorp Corp.

(Attached is Elaine from Seinfeld giggling a pencil around)

Me:  WOW!  This job opportunity is becoming better and better by the minute!  This is indeed a very exciting opportunity for me!  I just have a couple more questions about this phenomenal opportunity … … … Does the position provide any more benefits?  Perhaps a 401k Matching plan?  Does DARC Corp have any good looking female sales representatives?  Are there opportunities for advancement within the organization?     Thanks for your consideration on this matter.  -DJ ROBO BISCUIT

Recruiter:  Mr RoboBiscuit,   I am glad to hear that you are interested in this opportunity.  You bring up some good points.  DARC Corp holds the belief that benefits are very important.  So we provide all of our employees with the biggest benefit of all: Employment.  As for other sorts of benefits, we believe that we should let you help yourself.  You will feel so much more accomplished in life as you provide entirely for your retirement plan and healthcare.        As for the good looking female sales representatives question.   Well that is a question we can’t really answer online.   But we can promise you a Kate Upton poster for your closet.        One benefit I forgot to mention is our great hand-me-down system.  We have subscriptions to all of the best dirty magazines and share these with our employees.  Depending on your position in the company you may gain access to these magazines starting at 3 months delayed up to only two weeks delayed as you raise higher in the company.   Believe me, there is a big difference between the magazine after two weeks and the three month marker.  Believe me …       Opportunities for advancement are unlimited.  You have the ability at any time to refer and hire employees to work under you and you will gain a percentage of each of their revenue.  Additionally if they refer further employees you will get percentages of that as well.  You could start as a nobody and in six months have a team of hundreds working beneath you!    At a certain point we may even upgrade you from a closet to a cubicle!  Imagine having light!       Sincerely, DefinitelyARealCorp Corp.

(Attached is a picture of a Cat working at a desk)

Response — (A Cat saying Thank you)

Me:  Wow!   This sounds like an unbelievable opportunity!  With the employees working under me … … Do I have to pay them?  Or perhaps they could be unpaid interns … …     I am beginning to feel super high motivation, the thought of having the opportunity to be working in a cubicle with LIGHT is possibly a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

 

End of interaction.  Believe it or not, I did not take the job at DefinitelyARealCorp Corp.

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT (February 25th)

 

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Learning Economics (And Philosophy)

There was a place where the people could make choices.  Some chose to utilize the brains and their bodies, and these people were rewarded.  There were people who were lazy with their minds and worked only with their bodies; these people were rewarded less.  Some of them labored only with their minds and some labored only with their bodies; more rewards were dispensed to the “mind-laborers.”

There is a different place where people worked in a variety of ways but they were all rewarded in the same way.  There were some who worked hard by choice and some who were lazy and it managed to balance out, the results were enough for success and overall the people were happy.   The hardest workers were intrinsically motivated and worked hard by choice, and the people at the bottom were happy to have the hard workers pull twice the weight.

In the First Place, the place of incentives.  There were some people who thought there was some unfairness and there was too much suffering at the bottom.  There was a demand for an equalization.   The hard workers continued to work hard and the lazy people stopped working (in this land everybody wanted Bananas), after the time of labor, all people were able to get 5 Bananas (each).   Based on the equal compensation, the hard workers lost an incentive (a drive, a purpose, a reason) and they worked less hard … … the next time around people only received 3 Bananas each.  The hard workers lost some of their motivation and the lazy people continued to do nothing … … After the time of working, there were only enough Bananas created for there to be 1 Banana per person.  The lack of incentive created a race to the Bottom.

 

If the above paragraphs seem interesting then you will have an interest in Economics (and politics and philosophy).  This kind of talk will lead in the direction of CAPITALISM VS SOCIALISM.             And it may lead you in the direction of AYN RAND who is famous for her work “Atlas Shrugged.” (Who is John Galt?)

You have Adam Smith, he believed in the “Invisible Hand” of Capitalism and Laissez-faire economics (hands off).

There is also Karl Marx.  He fought for the workers in the factories.

Once you begin to study Economics in the realm of Marx vs Rand, you will notice that the debate continues within the world and the media.    Should there be welfare?  Should we tax the rich?  Who creates the jobs?    Should we redistribute the capital?

February 16th, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

Andrew Carnegie (Knowledge)

Andrew Carnegie was one of the original business badasses.

He was a proud Scottish Man.   He had a beard.  He was a philanthropist.

Carnegie is a Rags-To-Riches story.  He started working at a young age and worked his way  up.         He was a master of telegrams and then he moved onto the railroads.

Eventually Carnegie became a Titan of Steel.

He was the first person during that time period to actually use …. SCIENCE when making steel.    During his time you had to rely on basically a “Witch Doctor” to know how to make steel within the steel (ball) machine.    He hired a CHEMIST to analyze the process and components of making steel.  It was revolutionary.

Carnegie is also known for his article “The Gospel of Wealth.”   It states that the wealthy have a duty to use their wealth to help the people of the world.   Crazy right?    That rich people should use their money for GOOD?      It was great.    The wealthy should thank the world for allowing them to earn their fortune.

Basically, Carnegie was the man.  I HIGHLY recommend his autobiography.  ANDREW CARNEGIE!

February 14th, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

Getting Started with Personal Finance

 

If you are totally new to the concept of Personal Finance or Financial Literacy, this is a good place to start.

Let’s just say you have 3 basic “levels” (the goal is to make it up to Super Saiyan 3 #Goku #BetterThanVegeta #DragonBallZ)

Many people live paycheck-to-paycheck.  You work all week for two weeks and then you get paid.  POOF!  The money is gone.  It has been spent.    Food, Car, House, significant other, fresh shoes, credit card payment, WHATEVER the money is gone.         You are stuck in a vicious cycle:   Work Work Work – get paid- money is all gone – Work Work Work        and so on and so on    until you are an old person ready to retire with no savings  and it is a PROBLEM.

People who are doing better than P2P (Paycheck-to-Paycheck) are able to save some of their money.      The Paycheck comes in and some of the money is put away into savings.  A lot of times the savings will be spent, possibly on a “nice family vacation” or perhaps on a college fund for the kids (A respectable expense).

If you want to master personal finance you want to get to Super Saiyan 3 level: Your Money Works For You.  The money that you have saved you have invested it.  Or the money that you use, it is involved in a business.   INVEST and/or CREATE PASSIVE INCOME!    Make your money while you sleep or make your money without having to go to work.    Being a Bestselling author is one way to do it.   Another way to do it is to be a YouTube star (see PewDeePie).   or REAL ESTATE!  (Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki).

This should be enough info to get you started.   The internet is full of material and content that educates about Financial Literacy.   A good guy to start will is Dave Ramsey or possibly even Tony Robbins (Famous Self-Help Guru).

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT