The Ambiguous Man (A man of many sides)

The man traveled into town.

He had a nice night and met a girl who was kind and smart.   The man wanted to go with the girl to his room.   She accepted his invitation.   She found the man to be a kind and gentle lover.

The next day came.  The man awoke from his slumber.  He had slept peacefully and was tired from his love-making.

He walked about the town.   The man was handsome.   The women of the town would often look at him as he walked past.

Night came soon enough.   The man went to the local bar.   He saw the girl from the night before and he politely waved at her.   When he was at the bar he found another man who was sitting alone.   He sat next to this Lonely Man.  He took a liking to this Lonely Man.  The man explained he did not have a room for the night and he needed somewhere to stay.  The Lonely man said the Man could sleep with him.  The wandering man who had entered the town only a day before accepted the offer.  That night the two men made love together.

The Man woke up the next day.  His body was sore from love-making.   When the Man decided to get out of bed it was near noon.  As he walked outside there were some tough men who stood in the street and looked at him.

Their leader spoke, “It’s time for you to go.”

The Man looked at their leader:  “Why is that?”

“You have crossed the line.  Men like yourself are not welcome here.”  Their leader spoke again.

“What kind of a Man am I?”  Asked the Man.

“Don’t get fresh with me!  The good people of this town saw you with the other man last night.  Such a thing is an abomination and not welcome in our town.  You must leave at once.  If you do not leave on your own, we will have to remove you by force.”  Their leader spoke bluntly and clearly.

“I understand.  Thank you for your hospitality.”  Said The Man.

The wandering man, who had entered the town and who had been with two different partners during his time, left the town.  He walked on in search of a new town.

 

-END OF ENTRY, DJ ROBO BISCUIT, April 2017

Noodle World Cereal Part 2

Jon Every found the box of cereal.

This cereal box did not have a Noodle Monster touching balls in milk.

It was a cereal box that had a picture of a man on it.  A man with a brown beard and brown hair.  His arms were spread wide and his face was calm.

“Interesting.” Said Jon Every.  “This box is so different from the other boxes.”

He thought it was so odd to see a human man making gestures with food.  He was so used to seeing only the Holy Noodle touch balls with His mighty appendages.

“The cult of Christianity must be gaining more followers than I thought.”  Said Jon.

A young boy ran up close and pointed at the cereal box with Jesus on it.  “Mom look!  There is a white man on this box!”

The mom moved quickly and grabbed her son.  “Don’t look at that vile thing Billy!  That white demon is a desecration to the Noodle that we hold sacred.”

The mom and young boy moved away.

Jon Every thought out loud, “This world is becoming stranger everyday.”

-End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

Noodle World (Cross Burning)

There were reports in the news of burnings.   Fringe groups were burning pieces of wood that looked like lower case “T.”  Members of the mass public were concerned.   There were these white people who were taking fire and burning the wood.  There were reporters who traveled to see the burnings of the lower case “t” and they talked to the white men who burned them.

“We are burning these crosses for Jesus Christ.  Jesus died for our sins and we are burning this cross.  We also hate black people and Jewish people.”  Spoke a T-Burner.

The reporters were often shocked from the language and the hate speech.  It was not a large concern of the public since Christianity was a cult.

“The White race is the superior race.  We do not want to associate with the other mud races.  And of course the Noodle in the Sky is a false god.”  Spoke an Elderly White Man.

John Every was sitting in a pub and watching the news.  He listened to some men nearby “What a ridiculous religion.  Can you believe these cults?”

“Indeed.  It is absurd they believe there is a white man in the sky who is all-powerful and he hates the Jewish people and the people with the dark skin?  What rubbish.  These men must not have been touched by His Almighty Noodle.”

“If any thing, these men were touched by the Wooden Spoon of the Dark Lord.”

The men continued to exchange words and make fun of the silly cult on television.

“Let’s return home.  It is Thursday.  I hope my lovely wife has prepared the sacred meatballs.”

“Yes Yes my good man I love to eat the balls.”

As the two men left the pub, John Every was sitting and contemplating which God was the “true” God.

LEARNING AFTER SCHOOL (MORE)

 

The pursuit of lifelong learning is noble indeed.   The world is full of knowledge.

A good place to start is “Will Durant.”  Will Durant wrote “The Story of Civilization.”

Another excellent resource is “School of Life” on Youtube.

Here is an example:

 

Also, Learning leads to more learning.

For one example:   DJ ROBO BISCUIT wanted to learn more about cults in America.

DJ ROBO BISCUIT has learned about Scientology, Warren Jeffs, The Moonies, and the Westboro Baptist Church.

The author recommends “Going Clear” (it is a book).     Also, as a good satire I also recommend “Zone Theory: 7 Steps to achieve a Perfect Life” (I have not read this book)

When you learn about one topic it will hopefully peak your interest and push you towards learning some more.

“Don’t Let Education Get in the Way of your Learning” -Mark Twain (I think I got that right)

USE THE INTERNET! and USE BOOKS!

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT   (May 3rd, 2016)

Lizard People?

Who are the world’s leaders?

Are they humans who have climbed the political ladder?

Or are they Lizard people?

“Reptilians (also called reptoids,[1] reptiloids, saurians, or Draconians) are purported reptilian humanoids that play a prominent role in fantasy, science fiction, ufology, and conspiracy theories.[2][3] The idea of reptilians on Earth was popularized by David Icke, a conspiracy theorist who claims shape-shifting reptilian aliens control Earth by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies. Icke has claimed on multiple occasions that many of the world leaders are, or are possessed by, so-called reptilians.” -Wikipedia

The correct term is “Reptilians”

According to David Icke; he was once a Footballer and then a Sports Journalist; he met a psychic and this psychic claimed he was a new Jesus Christ!   He became ridiculed because he was confident that he was the new messiah.  But then he got busy!  He got busy writing books!

“The Biggest Secret: The Book That Will Change The World”

and also: “Human Race Get Off Your Knees: The Lion Sleeps No More”     Those are a couple of his books

David Icke pushes that: 1) the world is run by Reptilians 2) The Moon is a hollowed-out Planetoid 3) It’s all part of an evil conspiracy-Rothschild-Illuminati kind of deal where the Reptilians want to take over the world

According to Vice News, this guy has sold “20 million” copies of his books and he gives lectures to crowds of 6,000 people.  People believe this guy.

You can decide for yourself.   But ask yourself.  Are Humans running the world?  OR is the world being controlled by Lizard people?

-DJ Robo Biscuit

(Sunday May 1st 2016)

 

 

The Story of Noodle World (Compilation)

Entry #1

The young couple entered the place of worship. They saw high ceilings and wooden pews. There were old people walking around slowly. As John Every looked up at the glass paned windows his brow crumpled slightly. On the glass panes was a beautiful design which had dated back for centuries: The Flying Spaghetti Monster. There it was in all of its magnificence. The Noodles. The Meatballs. The Eyes.

The elderly entered the ancient wooden doors. There was a tiny bowl of marinara sauce next to the door. The old women reached down two fingers, dipped them into the marinara sauce, and began her homage. She made it look as her two fingers were stirring a pot of spaghetti and then placed the marinara sauce into her mouth. She then looked up to the Carbohydrate Monster on the window: “R’amen,” she spoke in a soft voice.

John Every and his girlfriend walked through the old cathedral. They walked over to a piece of art that the elderly were crowding around. There was an art structure on display. There were pirate statues. There were Sun-beings. There were normal folk. All of whom, were being touched, by His Noodle Appendage. The elderly looked upon the tribute with respect.

The young couple walked into the cemetery next to the cathedral. Each grave plot had a Death-rock with a small design of The Flying Spaghetti Monster on it. Usually the Death-rocks had words on them. “She was a kind woman.” “This man lived a life.” “This man and his mistresses met a swift death.” “She was TRULY touched by His Noodle.” There was a grieving family placing a small bowl of plain pasta next to one of the Death-rocks.

“Touching,” said Virginia-Mary (John Every’s girlfriend).

“You know, sometimes I get the feeling that things shouldn’t be this way. Shouldn’t there be a nicer way of saying it than ‘Death-rock?’ And shouldn’t there be a higher moral to live up to than this pasta monster?” John whispered to Virginia-Mary.

“Don’t be so offensive John. This is a cemetery.” Virginia-Mary chided John.

— End of Entry One, DJ RoboBiscuit

Noodle World Entry #2

Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a Holy Day.

John enjoyed his Thursday. The day was pleasant. John had some delicious Hibachi shrimp at lunch time and he devoured a succulent lamb kebab at dinner. Thursday was not a perfect day. While eating his Hibachi Shrimp at Speedy Japan (the quick japanese food in the strip mall) he was uncomfortable with the wall decor. There was a poster on the wall of a stout Asian man fishing in a small river with bamboo surrounding him (which John expected from a Japanese restaurant). However, next to the eastern influenced poster, there was a representation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Pasta Deity had one of his noodles around a samurai sword and at the bottom of the poster it read “HE is with Japan.”

John thought to himself, “This seems offensive to me. Shouldn’t the people of Japan have some kind of native beliefs?”

After a night of sleeping the day had become Friday. Many people were wearing their colanders. John usually did not wear a pasta strainer on his head. He personally thought it was “a little odd.”

He was having a hard time deciding on his Friday Lunch. As John drove down the road he thought, “Maybe a chicken sandwich.” He happened to be driving on BlackBeard Road which John remembered had a Chicken Phils. He became excited as he got closer, imagining the delicious taste of that savory chicken sandwich in his mouth (maybe even with a Phd Pepper [a sweet soft drink]).

As his car came upon the Chicken Restaurant, his heart dropped upon seeing the store lights were not on. “Damn! It’s Friday. Why would a fast casual restaurant see a need to close every Friday?! Don’t they know I want to eat their chicken?!” John was not happy.

As he drove to BeauJanes (another chicken restaurant) John thought questioning thoughts over the influence that religion should have over business … …

-End of Entry Number 2, Noodle World, DJ Robo Biscuit.

Noodle World Entry #3

(Slam Dunk, Basketball)

“Oh yeah! Big Dunk from B.J Besley!” The commentator was excited.

Besley, a tall african american male, made a circular motion with his index and middle finger.

“Besley! Stirring the pot!”

“Cooking up some pasta!” The commentators maintained their excitement.

Besley made some motions with his hands as if to open up an imaginary can …

“Oh My Noodle! Besley is opening a can of sauce!”

“Right you are Jim! Could be Marinara! He is adding the sauce into the noodles!”

“And he is stirring it up!”

“Showing some good respect to the church.”

B.J Besley reaches into his jersey and pulls out his chain, then he kisses it. On the end of the chain is a small, golden Noodle Monster.

“He’s a religious man alright! Without a doubt Besley is an individual who has indeed been touched by His Noodle.”

“So talented. The power of carbs definitely flows through his veins!”

“R’amen Jim. R’amen.”

John Every was watching the basketball game on his home television. He shook his head.

— End of Entry #3, Noodle World, DJ Robo Biscuit

Entry #4

I just don’t know man, I am having doubts… …

It seems hard to believe that this Noodle Monster is the creator!!! I just don’t feel that there is a connection between Pirates and Global warming. How do people know that it isn’t just a normally occurring phenomena?

Nobody feels weird about this? They don’t think that it’s odd for us to worship a Noodle Monster???

Wouldn’t it make more sense for our Diety to be … I don’t know … a man?

“Woah man, you are sounding kind of crazy.”

Wouldn’t a powerful god create man in his image? Why would a Gigantic Spaghetti Monster create human beings?

I know it’s the popular religion …. … but but but maybe there is an alternative?

I may consider seeking out a cult.

“Woah my man, I am a little bit worried about you.”

-End of Entry. (Doubt)

Entry #5

White male. Brown Beard. Brown hair. He wore a white robe. Sandals. His face was calm.

The hairy white male scanned the smooth lake surface. He slowly closed his eyes … … held them closed for 5 seconds and then opened them. He placed his right foot forward.

On the other side of the lake, their was a pirate. He was a smelly pirate and he had a beard. This pirate wore black boots and looked like a smelly pirate. This pirate enjoyed drinking Rum. His name was Smelly Alfredo.

Smelly Alfredo looked out towards the lake. There was a man. Smelly Alfredo saw this man.

“Garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr unbelievable. He be walking on the water.” Alfredo slurred his words.

The robed man with a beard was standing in the middle of the lake. His feet were firmly on the top of the lake surface. It appeared to be a miracle.

Smelly Alfredo reached into his Pirate Satchel (the official carrying sack of Pirate) and grabbed his Colander (Pasta Strainer). He placed the pasta device on his head. The colander infused him with Noodle Strength. As Smelly Alfredo looked out onto the Lake he could see that the white-bearded-man was being held above the water by a large Noodle. The Noodle was wrapped around his waist and the Noodley Noodle stretched up into the clouds.

“This man has been blessed by His Noodle.” Smelly Alfredo removed his colander and went back to sleep to dream Pirate dreams. “R’amen.”

-End of Entry, (Blasphemy).

Entry #6

The scholar sat in his chair. He was old and his eyes were deep. They were the eyes of knowledge and these eyes were a piercing green.

“There was a time when this world was not this way. People did not flock to the temples of Hubbard. His Noodle was not The Noodle. The happenings have been bizarre.”

“What do you mean?”

“Things were different. The Gods were different and the numbers were bigger. If you wanted to follow Jesus you didn’t have to do it in secret. But things changed within this world. Something happened.”

“But what is it? What happened?”

“It was the people. And the Young People. They rejected the religions. They thought they had outsmarted it.”

-End of Entry

Entry #7

John Every entered the basement. It was noisy. People were talking.

There was a man in the front of the room prepping for his presentation. He was wearing a robe and a fancy hat.

As John looked around the room he noticed a curiosity in the eyes of the people. He could see they were hungry for something and they seemed to have a fervent social desire. He sensed their desire for connection. It was in their eyes. Their eyes. They wanted … something.

John had a seat. He noticed there was a lower case letter “T” on the wall.

The robed man faced the crowd and began his talk.

“I thank you all for coming. We know why we are here in this place. This world is lacking faith … ”

The man in the robes began his talk.

“I say Hallelujah! I say Hallelujah!”

“You people, you need something! Something real! Something that is strong that you can feel!”

John Every looked around the room. He saw twinkles in the eyes of the gathered people.

“People are not happy! We are living in a Devil’s World! I feel sorry for the sinners out there! And I have compassion for the sinners in here! For we all have some sin!”

“The people of this world, they have betrayed the Lord! I’m talking about the almighty GOD! I’m talking about Jesus Christ!”

“How could they give up on our Lord and Savior? How could they accept a Monster made of Noodles?”

“It goes back to Nietzsche. We know the tale of the Madman. ‘God is dead. And we have killed him.’ That is what it was. It was Man. It was our Minds!”

“The people of this world. They thought they could outTHINK God! They thought they could use Logic and Reason to prove him not there. But let me tell you something, He is Real! I Believe! I can FEEL him! God is all-knowing and all-seeing! They thought they could hide from him and join forces with a Pasta Monster BUT I SAY NO!”

The people were cheering.

“You are on the path to salvation! You are on the true path!”

“And we will NOT engage in pre-marital sex! It is frowned upon by The Lord!”

John Every was enjoying the spirituality of this Christianity. But he felt uneasy about letting his belief have control over his sex life.

-End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

That is the tale so far.  The story of Noodle World will continue.   If you enjoyed the story, please share it.

 

Open Letter to Donald Trump

Dear Donald Trump,

Please stop hurting America.

Things in this country are changing.  I know some people do not like change.  “The Cheese has moved.”  The changing of America is something that Conservative White People must come to terms with.   Today in the USA there are more interracial couples and interracial friendships than there ever have been before.  Kids in public schools are learning and growing within a climate of diversity.    Children are learning in classrooms that have black students and asian students and hispanic students and white students.   Conservative White America can not stop the people of different races from coming together and loving one another.     Diversity promotes more diversity.

The nation is experiencing a wave of change.   Interracial couples will produce interracial children.   These interracial children will lead to even more diverse children.   And so on and so on.   People across the nation have learned that people should not be judged by the color of their skin, BUT by the content of their character.   I hope the people of this nation also know that the same goes for religion.   People of differing religions CAN get along because we are all ONE people and we are all ONE nation.   Stop dividing the nation Donald Trump!

America does not need Xenophobia.

You are just like CNN’s Crossfire: Bad for America.  When Jon Stewart took down Crossfire, it was a television show that was hurting America in that it was DIVISIVE.  It was not a debate show, it was simply a polarizing argument between sides that would not compromise.  Mr. Trump, you are not a UNIFY-ER.  If you were somebody that wanted to Unite People then why are you so committed to building a wall on the Mexican border?  If you want to Unite People, shouldn’t America be a home to Syrian refugees?  Can America be a home to Muslims?    I want to be clear:  NOT ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS.  Right?  Just like how not all White Christian Men are in the KKK.  Right?  I bet you can find SOME White God-Loving Men in the KKK but clearly not ALL White Christian Men are in the KKK.    Right?   MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT TERRORISTS.

Please stop fear-mongering and sensationalizing.   America is not a “White Nation.”  This country is a melting pot.  This country is FOR diversity.   This country is FOR immigrants.  After all, aren’t we ALL Immigrants?

If America is going to be throwing their votes to a fascist.  I’ll be giving mine to Vermin Supreme.  At least Vermin is a “FRIENDLY fascist.”

Please stop hurting America.  Let the love in.

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT, concerned American citizen