The Life of a Human Cow (For God)

The Beautiful fur covers the body.   Soft.   Fluffy.  White.   You are the enemy of many chickens.

The nearby human places your head onto your body.    ZIP!   ZIP!      The fur is on.     You are not a naked creature!     The pajamas are placed onto your furry body.

“Out to the corner.”  A mysterious voice demands.

The world can only be half-seen.   Light floods in as the back door is open.   Sidewalk Sidewalk.   WALK WALK (cow hoof on the ground, cow hoof on the ground)

The temperature is warm.   STEP STEP STEP.     You stop at your destination.    You are a Bovine Prostitute.

“Dancing Time.”

A homeless man laying on the street turns his head.  He sees a large cow dancing around on the street corner.    Cars are driving by honking.   “Anything for a dollar.”  Homeless Jim slurs his words.

The human creature within the Bovine costume slowly tires.    DANCE DANCE DANCE.   The cars continue their honks.

Sweat drips down into the eyes of the human.   The eyes can not be touched through the blocking apparatus of the COW head.

The sweaty cow-human walks back to home base.

ZIP ZIP.   The Head is removed.    It is a human man.    Into the freezer for you.    ENJOY that cold pepsi.

(This establishment is closed on Sundays)

This sweaty cow-man brings joy to small kids and slight terror to confused dogs.

Praise the Lord!   Jesus loves chicken sandwiches.

“Hey Cow!   Out to the corner!”

My pleasure.


-DJ ROBO BISCUIT (a man who used to be a COW)