LIFE FIGHT (A story)

A story by DJ ROBO BISCUIT

The two office men meet each other by the water cooler.

“How is it going Bob?  You had a good night?”

“Hey Mike! Ya I sure did.  Pretty fun night. Yourself?”

“Real good.  Did you watch the fights last night?”

“Oh man!  They were crazy!  How about Jenkins?”

“That Jenkins guy is a tough S.O.B for sure!  Can’t believe he got past that other guy.”

“Oh yeah man.  That was definitely an upset for sure.  Do you think he will go all the way?”

“I don’t know mate.  The competition is pretty fierce.  Those men, they fight like animals.”

“Well they have a lot to fight for.”

“True that my friend!”

The two men separate and go back to their cubes.

 

Cage match.  The arena is is a cage match with cameras and microphones surrounding it.  The two men are on opposite sides of the cage.  They wear athletic shorts (no pockets) and nothing else.  Their hands are empty and their feet are bear.

Commentator: Alright folks We got a real nice match on our hands tonight! Omar Jenkins in the right corner.  He stands at 5 foot 10 inches tall weighing in at 180 pounds.  He killed a whole family while they slept.     In the left corner we have Andrew Rice.  He stands at 6 feet tall and 170 pounds.  Andrew strangled his boss at work and then beat him to death.

Other Commentator:  Hey man, we have all felt that way at one time or another!  And this Rice guy just had the nuts to follow through.  And here we are tonight!

Commentator:  Exactly right!  These two men are in the fight of their lives tonight!  Two men are entering the ring and only one will live.  This is Life Fight!

Ding ding ding!   (The fight starts)

Commentator:   There is the bell and the fight is on!  Both men throwing punches at each other.  I’m giving a slight edge to Jenkins, I bet he has the speed!

Other Commentator:  Bold prediction my friend.  Rice does have the height advantage in this one.

Commentator:   Boom! Jenkins delivering a strong combo to Rice’s face.  Oh and Wow!  Rice delivers a hard kick right into the groin of Jenkins.

Other Commentator:  Remember folks there are no rules so that kick was 100% legal.

Commentator:  Jenkins is the on the ground right now and it looks like Rice is moving in for the headlock.

DING DING DING!

Commentator:  Saved by the bell!  That first two minutes goes by so fast.   The two fighters head back to their corners while we get a word from our sponsors!

Other Commentator: These fights have definitely been getting more popular.  I heard we were getting a look from Doritos AND Nike as well.

Commentator:  I’ll believe that when I see it.    Folks we are about to move into round 2 here, so if you have any small children watching then we just want to say that viewer discretion is advised.

DING DING DING!

Commentator:  And we are back! Rice moving in, but Jenkins fending him off with a punch to the head!  He backs off and the two fighters are circling.   Oh it’s that time!  They are dropping in the weapons!   Looks like Jenkins and Rice both have grabbed short swords.

Other Commentator:  Those are extra sharp.

Commentator: Oh here we go!  Rice moving in fast with a slash.   And Jenkins parries! OH! N—

(Jenkins slices rice hard across the stomach; opening him up.  Rice has his eyes wide open as he looks down at his stomach.  Jenkins sweeps the leg, taking Rice to the ground. Rice grabs at his open stomach wound.  Jenkins brings his sword down quickly and stabs Rice through the heart).

Commentator: Wow!  Game over for Rice!  An efficient kill by Jenkins!

Other Commentator:  Rest in peace to Rice!  And remember, that guy was a killer!

Commentator:   That is right! Kill or be killed in these fights!   Congrats to Omar Jenkins, he lives to fight another day!

 

(At the White House, the President gives a speech on the front lawn)

President:  Now I know there have been some complaints about the Life Fights.  But look, the people, they love them!  The ratings are going through the roof.  Millions of American are tuning in to check it out.

Reporter:  Mr. President, what about the concern many have of children watching the fights?

President:  That is a fair question.  I have already spoken with the different networks and we are going to have a TV-MA rating appear in the top left screen.  We are also making double sure that the commentators are giving fair warning that the battle could turn bloody.

Reporter:  Mr. President some of your critics have said it is truly unethical to have these men fight.  What do you say to that?

President: Unethical?  It is a ridiculous charge.  I am doing so much good.  These are men with no hope.  They are killers. I am giving them a second chance, a chance at redemption.   Win three fights and life is yours.  Never in History, has a President used the pardon so well.

Reporter:  Mr. President people around the country are becoming concerned that too many American are receiving the death penalty.  Can you comment on that?

President:  I am bringing law and order to this country.  Many of these men have made mistakes, terrible mistakes.  And I want to protect the people.  But unlike never before, these men can fight their way out.

 

(Fast Forward)

Commentator:  Alright folks! Here we are!  The deciding fight for Omar Jenkins!   We all saw him use his short sword to handle Rice.  And just two nights ago he was able to kill John Jeppers with his bare hands.   Will Omar have what it takes tonight as he takes on Nelson Minger?

Other Commentator: Nelson Minger is one tough cookie.  He had a lot of gang involvement before he robbed that bank and shot both security guards.  And he is 6 foot 3 inches tall with rumors of knowing some karate!

Commentator:  This is a huge night for the Life Fights.  The President himself is here in attendance just in case Omar Jenkins is able to win this fight.

(The two fighters battle it out and have a stalemate through the first round) 

Ding ding ding!

Commentator: Alright folks we are here in round two!  Oh, here comes the weapons!  Looks like they dropped in some small knives.   Jenkins and Minger both getting the knives.  And they are circling.

Other Commentator:  You can really feel the bloodlust in the air!

Commentator:  Oh! They are on the move! Oh looks like Minger managed to get a deep cut on Jenkins arm!  Okay and here goes Jenkins! WOAH!

(Jenkins moves in and slashes the knife hand of Minger.  It bleeds. He gets the knife out of the hand.  Jenkins get his hand around Minger’s throat.  He plunges the knife into his back and twists.  Minger’s eyes roll back into his head and he collapses on the ground)

Commentator:  Simply Amazing! Huge kill by Jenkins!

Other Commentator: Such cunning to slash the hand before going for the throat!

Commentator:  Folks!  Tonight hard work is going to pay off for Omar Jenkins!

(The President of the United States moves down to the ring with heavy security presence.  He is a given a microphone)

The President:   Good Evening everyone!  We have really been treated to an impressive display tonight.  And as you all can see, these killers are some real tough folks!   First of all I want to say Congratulations to Omar Jenkins!  Omar, you are one heck of a fighter.  Second of all, I want to thank you for your work.  You have killed three inmates over the past week.  All three of those men were on death row and you have saved this country time and money with your efforts. And finally, let’s get to my part of the deal.   By the powers vested in me as President of the United States I hereby remove the death penalty from your slate.  Effective immediately.  Your punishment is now being changed to a life sentence which you may live out in luxury at the Fighters Hotel.    To those of you watching me from Prison, I say to you, train hard!

 

(End of Story)

 

 

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The Land of Longfellow

The reporter road into town

Unsure of what he’d find

The town was not too big

Not too big for any mind

He saw the folks

They waved

Oh, they seem nice

Many people around would not think twice.

He was there to do his report

Because there had been word getting around

Of strange and bizarre things

Happening in this town

The word came in from anonymous sources

People who were scared

Of the kids of this land

Who often dissappeared

The Reporter left his car

And walked the town on foot

A car came driving up and screeched to a halt

The couple rolled down their window to relay the news

“You need to get out, it’s time to go.”

What do you mean why should I leave?

“This is not a normal place, it’s not safe to stay.”

Where is the danger in this town?

“We are leaving.

You should not stay here.

This is the Land of Longfellow and he will come for you.”

And after those last words, the couple rolled up their window and drove away.

The reporter walked on.

 

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT, The Land of Longfellow

Conspiracy, AntiSemitism, The Origin

The Origin of the Jewish Conspiracy that the world is controlled by the Jews.

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion

The text above was published in 1903.  It is an Antisemitic fabricated text.
The text was denounced in THE TIMES in 1920 1921.
The work takes some inspiration from the 1864 work: Dialogue in Hell between Machiavelli and Montesquieu)
If you have ever been curious about where AntiSemitism comes from or where some Antisemites draw their information then know that The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is a very influential text.
You can find interesting info on this work by searching online and looking at the wikipedia page.
-End of post, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

Dream Story continued October 17th 2017

The fog dissipated.   The man known as Bob opened his eyes.  He was laying down but he did not know what room he lay in.   The ceiling was dark.  He lifted his head and he noticed he was butt naked.

He arose out of the coffin that he was laying in.  He looked around the room to see monitoring equipment with numbers and lines on it.  In large red lights he could see on one of the screens “zero one seven” in big letters.

“What the fuck is this shit?”  Bob spoke out.

He heard footsteps.  He noticed there was a cracked door leading out of the strange room he was in.   Bob crouched down behind the coffin and he noticed a shadow pass the door.

He looked around the room and there were no clothes for him to wear.

“I guess I am roughing it.”

He creeped towards the door slowly.  He slid the door open ever so slowly and peered around.  The coast was clear.   As Bob looked around, it seemed that he was in some kind of old hotel and the hallway looked like any other hallway.  He began walking.

Bob noticed a stairway at the end of the hallway.  He slowly moved towards it.

At the end of the hallway one of the doors opened and lifeform exited the door.  It was a 4 foot tall gray creature.  The creature looked like a little person but it was totally gray and hairless.  The little creature turned and looked at Bob.  Bob peered into the large pitch black eyes of the creature.

The little creature jumped back startled.  It spoke in a small voice “Zero One Seven!”

The little creature hurried towards a nearby wall.  “It woke up!  It woke up!  This is not good!”   The black eyed creature slammed it’s little hands on the wall 5 times quickly.

Other little black creatures teleported in front of Bob, a mere five feet away.  They wore body armor and were holding what looked like little remote controls.

The leader of the pack spoke with the same kind of little voice, “Zero One Seven, this is the end of the line for you.  Your existence is no more.  Goodbye!”   The little creatures moved their fingers onto their remote controls.

Bob (Zero One Seven) collapsed onto the ground.  He was dead.

 

END OF ENTRY, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

The Ambiguous Man (A man of many sides)

The man traveled into town.

He had a nice night and met a girl who was kind and smart.   The man wanted to go with the girl to his room.   She accepted his invitation.   She found the man to be a kind and gentle lover.

The next day came.  The man awoke from his slumber.  He had slept peacefully and was tired from his love-making.

He walked about the town.   The man was handsome.   The women of the town would often look at him as he walked past.

Night came soon enough.   The man went to the local bar.   He saw the girl from the night before and he politely waved at her.   When he was at the bar he found another man who was sitting alone.   He sat next to this Lonely Man.  He took a liking to this Lonely Man.  The man explained he did not have a room for the night and he needed somewhere to stay.  The Lonely man said the Man could sleep with him.  The wandering man who had entered the town only a day before accepted the offer.  That night the two men made love together.

The Man woke up the next day.  His body was sore from love-making.   When the Man decided to get out of bed it was near noon.  As he walked outside there were some tough men who stood in the street and looked at him.

Their leader spoke, “It’s time for you to go.”

The Man looked at their leader:  “Why is that?”

“You have crossed the line.  Men like yourself are not welcome here.”  Their leader spoke again.

“What kind of a Man am I?”  Asked the Man.

“Don’t get fresh with me!  The good people of this town saw you with the other man last night.  Such a thing is an abomination and not welcome in our town.  You must leave at once.  If you do not leave on your own, we will have to remove you by force.”  Their leader spoke bluntly and clearly.

“I understand.  Thank you for your hospitality.”  Said The Man.

The wandering man, who had entered the town and who had been with two different partners during his time, left the town.  He walked on in search of a new town.

 

-END OF ENTRY, DJ ROBO BISCUIT, April 2017

Rob vs Bob

“Do you know why you are here?”

“To be an agent.”

“Yes.  That is obvious.  This is an agency.”

“Well, right.”

“But do you know why you are here at this agency?”

“You wanted the best and the brightest.”

“So here you are?”

“So here I am.”

“Do you consider yourself to be good with time?”

“I think I manage it well.”

“Have you ever lost it?”

“Come again?”

“Robert, Have you ever lost time?”

“Do you mean lost track of it?”

“I do not.”

“Well, you can not lose it.”

“I beg to differ Robert.  I beg to differ.”

“I am confused.”

“Well Robert, are you ready to become an agent?”

“I don’t know my assignments.”

“You only have one assignment.”

“Only one?”

“Yes.  We need you to track down one of our agents who has gone rogue.”

“Gone Rogue?”

“Yes.  He turned against the agency and against humanity.”

“So, he is a rogue agent that I need to stop?”

“Yes.  His name is Bob.”

-End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

More Crazy Dani and Nikolay Davydenko

Crazy Dani.  Daniel Koellerer.  He fought hard on the court.  He battled for his wins.  He insulted his opponents.

Koellerer called Julio Silva a “monkey” and told him to “go back to the jungle”  (kind of a low blow and a weird blow)

He was choked by Stefan Koubek because he was insulting Koubek.  Koubek w0uld not stand for it.   Perhaps Crazy Dani was just happy to get the win.

He was BANNED for life due to match fixing.

When he won a challenger title he dedicated the title to his mother.  He said she would be proud.   Would she be proud of all of his behavior?     It is not terrible that he wins tennis matches but COME ON is it necessary to insult your opponents and act like a wild man on the court?

 

There is also Davydenko.  The Wiry Russian.  Nikolay Davydenko first of all was a great player.  He had an amazing skill.  He was like Agassi.  He was very good off the forehand and backhand and he could hit hard and deep penetrating groundstrokes. He has had big wins in his career.  Sometimes he had a hard time closing out matches.  BUT this guy was a very talented ball striker.

There was a one year match fixing investigation launched against Davydenko.  Russians had bet millions of dollars on some of his losses.    (you can read further about it on Wikipedia)   Also, he lost in some matches where the umpire told Davydenko to give his best effort.   I think personally that it is sad that Nikolay kind of “lost it” near the end of his career.  He had this amazing tennis game but he got sucked into this match fixing stuff and then he stopped “bringing the goods.”  He was a beast but I think he lost his motivation near the end of his career.

(End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT, stay fluffy)