Noodle World — Entry #1

(The First Entry, Noodle World)

The young couple entered the place of worship.  They saw high ceilings and wooden pews.  There were old people walking around slowly.  As John Every looked up at the glass paned windows his brow crumpled slightly.  On the glass panes was a beautiful design which had dated back for centuries:  The Flying Spaghetti Monster.   There it was in all of its magnificence.  The Noodles.  The Meatballs.  The Eyes.

The elderly entered the ancient wooden doors.  There was a tiny bowl of marinara sauce next to the door.  The old women reached down two fingers, dipped them into the marinara sauce, and began her homage.  She made it look as her two fingers were stirring a pot of spaghetti and then placed the marinara sauce into her mouth.  She then looked up to the Carbohydrate Monster on the window: “R’amen,” she spoke in a soft voice.

John Every and his girlfriend walked through the old cathedral.  They walked over to a piece of art that the elderly were crowding around.  There was an art structure on display. There were pirate statues.  There were Sun-beings.  There were normal folk.  All of whom, were being touched, by His Noodle Appendage.  The elderly looked upon the tribute with respect.

The young couple walked into the cemetery next to the cathedral.  Each grave plot had a Death-rock with a small design of The Flying Spaghetti Monster on it.  Usually the Death-rocks had words on them.  “She was a kind woman.”  “This man lived a life.” “This man and his mistresses met a swift death.” “She was TRULY touched by His Noodle.”  There was a grieving family placing a small bowl of plain pasta next to one of the Death-rocks.

“Touching,” said Virginia-Mary (John Every’s girlfriend).

“You know, sometimes I get the feeling that things shouldn’t be this way.  Shouldn’t there be a nicer way of saying it than ‘Death-rock?’ And shouldn’t there be a higher moral to live up to than this pasta monster?” John whispered to Virginia-Mary.

“Don’t be so offensive John.  This is a cemetery.” Virginia-Mary chided John.

— End of Entry One, DJ RoboBiscuit

 

Understanding Tennis In Central NC (North Carolina Tennis)

Are you an adult who wants to learn the game?

Do you have a 6 year old daughter who you want to become Sharapova?

Are you hoping for College Scholarships?

Have you been watching tennis on TV and you just want to get out and play?

I hope I can provide you with the right information to you.   This information will be mainly centered around tennis happening in Raleigh and the surrounding area.

If you are hoping to get going immediately, the City of Raleigh provides low-cost high-value tennis classes based out of Millbrook Tennis Center which is a 23 court public facility.  The center has classes for kids and adults.  The programs there are EXCELLENT for bringing players from pure beginners up to an “intermediate” level.   There are some “tournament players” who train at Millbrook with Bennett Bailey and Kabiru Ibrahim, BUT primarily the Millbrook program works to teach beginners.

The City of Raleigh offers 123 public tennis courts and they are FREE to use.  However, demand for court usage has recently been increasing so I would recommend reserving the court for $4 per hour OR you can check the “Court Calendar” online to see if there are reservations.  Tennis in Raleigh has been increasing in popularity so don’t be surprised if you show up at some busy tennis courts.

For all of your tennis options Raleigh has: Millbrook Tennis Center, North Hills Club, Raleigh Racquet Club, Seven Oaks, Brier Creek Country Club, Carolina Country Club, Ebony Racquet Club, Greystone Tennis, Hasentree, and the list goes on.  Raleigh is full of players, coaches, and courts.  During the Spring, Summer, and Fall there is a TON of tennis that happens on Saturday Mornings and Sunday evenings (I mean A LOT).

Also, many high schools have tennis teams (some Varsity and Junior Varsity).  These teams vary in skill: some schools have weak teams that you can walk onto if you know how to hold a tennis racquet and some teams are loaded with Tournament Players which may appear to be a team of “professionals” if you are new to the game.

In Cary North Carolina, Cary Tennis Park is HUGE with a TON of tennis happening out there.  Lots of Adult tennis and lots of junior tennis so that is a great place to start if you live in Cary NC (also, just as an observation, there is a noticeable amount of Indian players who play out of Cary and Cary Tennis Park).

This next part could probably be an article on it’s own: Training for tournaments and going for college scholarships.  In order to have your son or daughter compete in USTA tournaments (and win matches) they will need a forehand, a backhand, and a serve (for starters).  Kids playing in these things most likely have some kind of private coach or in general, just many hours spent playing the game.  Very competitive.  BUT with TIME and energy kids can become STRONG players and compete on a high level in North Carolina Tournaments.  In order to be in the realm of earning college scholarships you would want to make a goal of becoming AT LEAST a “3 Star Recruit” on TennisRecruiting.com.  In order to get to that level, your player has to have the skills to WIN junior tournaments in North Carolina and be willing and able to TRAVEL OUTSIDE THE STATE to play tournaments and compete at the SOUTHERN LEVEL and not just the STATE LEVEL.    As a parent, if you want your son or daughter to be a “high level” player in North Carolina, it REALLY DOES require the sacrifice of a bunch of weekend time to play in USTA Tournaments where you sometimes have matches that play on Friday evening, Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon, and on Sunday (this is if your child goes ALL THE WAY and wins all of their matches).  It can be a lot of time and work and financial resources but it can very rewarding as your son/daughter can gain good confidence and self-esteem from being a WINNING and successful tennis player in North Carolina.  It is a world of its own (and beware of “crazy tennis parents”).  As a final note, if you want a scholarship, your odds are stronger if you are a GIRL (and even higher if you are an African American Girl) simply due to the number of players going after scholarships and the demographics involved in tennis.  The game currently has many White Players and Asian Players and many Indian Boys in the NC area.  Also, tennis is a global game so if you are competing for scholarships at a Division One University (NC State, UNC, Duke) do not be surprised if you are competing against a Russian Player or a Brazilian Player in order to get that scholarship (nobody said it was easy).

I hope this provided some good information and can give you some good guidance for your tennis journey in Central North Carolina.

-DJ Robo Biscuit

The Rise of Pastafarianism

Religion is down.  Internet is up.  Satire is up.  Parody is up.

An increasing number of studies are showing that young people are not believers.   They don’t believe in the higher power or a great Deity that created them.  And it just is not “cool” to be an atheist.

People with intellect and a pleasure for parody are putting on their colanders.  That’s right, pasta strainers: the religious head dress of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The Great Prophet, Bobby Henderson, created the Flying Spaghetti Monster as a clever response to Creationism.    Since the school board was trying to get Creationism taught in science classrooms then naturally all beliefs should receive fair time of instruction.  Henderson proposed that if Christianity would be taught in the classroom then there should be equal time spent on his own belief, that of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  It was an Open Letter and it became quite famous.   Ever since, Atheists and others have rallied behind the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as an answer to the ludicrous notion of Religion being taught as Science and the idea that Organized Religion should be pushed on people who really wants to learn “the facts” (like that silly “Science Stuff” that Bill Nye the Science Guy was always going on about).

I believe that the spread of information and the unprecedented ACCESS to information has caused a rise in reason.  People who question religion can now find answers online, on that big ol’ Spider Web in the sky, that thing Al Gore created, “the InterWeb”   (the Internet).  Using Wikipedia and Google Searches, a curious mind can easily draw up information on all of the world religions.   With the modern day access to information, it is no wonder that an increasing number of young people are non-believers and a large number of young people in the United Kingdom believe that religion “does more harm than good.”

Although there is no doubt that serious christian folk will be offended by your belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you do not have to be an atheist if that word makes you uncomfortable.  You do believe.  You believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  You know that there is a relationship between Pirates and the temperature of the planet.   And you KNOW that YOU were touched by His Noodle Appendage.

R’amen!