I wake up. I roll out of my bed. CREAK CREAK. I hear footsteps above me. “Fat bitch.” It’s my mammy stomping around up there. I take a look to my side and I still got my ex-fiances shit just sitting there in a big bag. I been meaning to get it back to her but I really just can’t stand the sight of that woman. I shiver ” UGH!” I can’t believe ever liked that crazy bitch. God damn. I wasted too much damn money on her.
I meet up with one of my associates at a good local spot. They got cheap beers on Tuesdays, only three fitty. A local chick comes and waits on us. I knew her from back in school I saw her around for sure. My associate and I take a good look at her we she has kind of weird shaped ass and her face is really sharp. A real strange face with intense eyes and strong eyebrows. I look over at my associate, “I definitely hit it.” My guy smiles and nods. I say to him “She looks like the kind of girl who would give you a blumpkin! You know what that means? It’s one she blows you while you are taking a shit!” I give it a good laugh. This bitch is definitely a blumpkin kind of girl.
Me and my buddy are making my way back to my whip. We had a few too many [drinks]. When my buddy C gets drinking he really runs his mouth. We had seen a guy who was pretty big with some Marines tatoos. You could tell he was jacked up on too much testosterone and was looking for a fight. He followed us back to the car with some o’ his boys. He said something to C and C said something back. We had some girl rolling with us and she got in the middle. “Don’t fight! Break it up.” This bitch said. Well, clearly the marine had no code because he just pulled back and Rocked this bitch. BOP. And she was out COLD. I get outta my car and this guy comes in for me. I’m like BOP CHOK CHOK and I got this dude in a choke hold. Meanwhile C is just getting his ass beat. This dudes boys got C on the ground and he is just getting straight up Molly Whopped.
(End of Post, DJ ROBO BISCUIT)