High School Elections

Here at High School, all members of school just watched at least 20 different candidates give speeches of some kind to get their students to vote.

As the students in the classroom watched the television they said things like:

“She is pretty.” (Girl)

“Oh!  It’s my boy Alan!’ (Boy)

“I hate her.” (Girl)

“It’s this guy.” (Boy)

 

The various students on television had a wide variety.   White, Black, Chinese, Indian, Boy and Girl.

They employed different strategies.   Some of them made rhymes … “If you want to win vote for Lin.”     Some of them sang songs … “I neeeeeeeeddd your vote!”       Some of them wore weird clothes …. some of them dressed up with a TIE (impressive) and some of them made references to movies like Napoleon Dynamite, “If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true.”    Even one student referenced building a WALL between a rival high school (a shout out to Donald Trump).

The students watching the screen and watching the speeches had a half-interest.  Some were on their smart phones.  Some of them were visibly watching.   Some of them commented.   Some of them stared vacantly.     There is no doubt that voter apathy is also an issue within Public High Schools.

Also, within high schools, voting and elections is a popularity contest.   The students now do not use Facebook.   Facebook is basically obsolete.    Students use SnapChat A LOT and they use Twitter.    Perhaps Social Media can mobilize the vote?

-End of Entry (Voting) (DJ ROBO BISCUIT)

Rest and Relaxation (March 22nd)

John had a tough day at work.  His job brings him stress.   He has to navigate through politics and paperwork that seems unnecessary.

When he got home he wanted to unwind.  He did not want to engage in an activity that would be too stressful.

John walked to his refrigerator.  He grabbed a Budweiser.  It was cold.

“Yes Yes Cold Bud!” John was happy.

He walked to a table and grabbed a red crayon and purple crayon.   John also took off his pants.

He walked to a different table.  He reached down for book on the table.    It had a picture of Paris Hilton from the Carl’s Jr commercial (where she washed the car and ate a burger).

On the cover of the book it read “ADULT coloring book.”

“Art Time.” John said.  You could sense a little excitement in his voice.

… … …

(Rest and Relaxation)(DJ ROBO BISCUIT)

Noodle World (Cereal)(March 20)

John Every walked through the supermarket.

He reached the breakfast section.     His eyes stopped on a cereal box with a picture of the Holy being itself, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, on the cover.    The Noodle Diety had many noodles touching chocolate balls on the cover (these balls were in a bowl of milk).

John read the name, “Noodle-O’s.”   He then read the slogan at the bottom, “All touched by His Noodle.”

John shook his head.

John Every looked around the breakfast section.  It appeared that almost all of the cereal boxes had a Noodle Monster on it.     Except for one solitary box in the corner … … …

-End of Entry (Cereal)

The Gathering (March 16th) (Noodle)

John sat in the basement.  Many people were excited.

A man with white hair and wild eyes was at the podium.  He was ready to address the crowd.

“This world is a complicated place.   There are many people around.   Some are more pure than others.   But we must think about the future!”

John wasn’t sure where this rhetoric was going.

“In order for the purity of this race to maintain we must be able to plan.   The act of Love must not be taken lightly!   There is a consequence!  There is the continuation of life!”

“Only the CHOSEN among us may be the Seed-Bearers.    A Birther can handle the seed of anyone.  However, we do not want the seeds of the tainted to enter the Birther and pollute this world!   Being a Seed-Bearer is the highest honor and it must be respected so we can maintain purity!”

Some of the men in the crowd were intense with their eyes.  You could see they deeply wanted to be the Seed-Bearers.  There were some other men at the gathering, men of a dark skin who did not look as happy.

The White-haired man continued.  “We are under attack from all sides!  As a people we must be strong!  And the people that come after us must be strong!  They must be a pure people!”         There were men in the crowd who nodded in agreement.    The men with dark complexion were not happy.

John Every thought within his mind, “I don’t know if this is the right place for me … ”

John slowly exited the basement.  He could see that some of those men were ready to listen to the White-Haired man (no matter what he said).

-End of Entry (Gathering)

Working with Marko (March 16th)(Milk)

John Every worked with a man named Marko.   Marko was a handsome man and he had dark hair.   Sometimes Marko liked to discuss his cuban heritage (John did not care).

They worked in a nice establishment.   They both had the same manager and there was a refrigerator.   Within this refrigerator there was a supply of milk.    The milk was for the organization.

All employees were allowed ONE item of milk per day.  It was company policy.

Marko enjoyed drinking milk.  He also liked stealing milk from the refrigerator.

John had witnessed this before.  John usually did not mind BUT one time Marko stole some of John’s milk.    … … No.    John thought in his head, “No.”

John Every told the manager.    The manager looked on the company video log (there was a surveillance camera aimed at the refrigerator).       The cameras showed 16 times that Marko had stolen milk from the refrigerator.

The manager called Marko into his office.

“Marko, we have proof of you stealing milk.”  He showed Marko all of the footage.  “Marko, that is clearly you.   This goes against company policy.   I will either terminate you at the end of the day or you can choose to resign with dignity.”

Marko walked out of the office.  He was embarrassed.  He wrote down a note and gave it to the manager.  Marko then collected his things and left the organization.

The manager announced to all workers that Marko had quit.  He read the note:  “It seems to me that working at this establishment was simply Not The Noodle’s plan.  The almighty Noodle has sent me a sign.  I am quitting today and moving on with my career.  Sincerely, Marko.”

John was somewhat confused.  He witnessed Marko stealing the milk.  He had a feeling his manager gave Marko the option of quitting.   John just did not think the Holy Noodle was involved at all in this scenario … …

-End of Entry (Rationalization)

More Noodle World (March 12)

John Every left the sermon feeling excited and somewhat confused.  John could tell that Pastafarianism was a strange religion but it seemed that Christianity had some strangeness to it as well.

“I want to have some faith but I don’t want to be a crazy person.” John exclaimed.

He sighed.  He had to mentally prepare himself for work on Monday.

In recent news, Tina Creation did not have to prepare for work on Monday.  Tina Creation was excited.  She was putting on a nice dress as she was going to “make an appearance” at a Dinner.   Tina looked at herself in the mirror, she wanted to be sure that her oversize butt was obviously noticeable within her dress.

Tina sighed. “Making these appearances is tough but somebody has to do it.”

Tina looked in the mirror some more.  She made a variety of faces at herself in preparation for many photos, any of them could end up on the cover of a Magazine seen on a rack in a grocery store check-out aisle.

Sometimes Tina talked to herself.  “I bet if I just did SOMETHING I could get onto more magazines.   And I don’t know if I’m on TV enough…”

Tina had recently been having a very public romance with rapper/artist Dante South.  He was usually in the news and his relationship with Tina had been mutually beneficial.

Tina’s phone was buzzing.  It was her agent.  She picked up.

“Hey Tina.  Me, Andre.  Have you ever considered making a sex tape?” … … …

-End of Entry, Noodle World (fame)

The Story of Noodle World (Compilation)

Entry #1

The young couple entered the place of worship. They saw high ceilings and wooden pews. There were old people walking around slowly. As John Every looked up at the glass paned windows his brow crumpled slightly. On the glass panes was a beautiful design which had dated back for centuries: The Flying Spaghetti Monster. There it was in all of its magnificence. The Noodles. The Meatballs. The Eyes.

The elderly entered the ancient wooden doors. There was a tiny bowl of marinara sauce next to the door. The old women reached down two fingers, dipped them into the marinara sauce, and began her homage. She made it look as her two fingers were stirring a pot of spaghetti and then placed the marinara sauce into her mouth. She then looked up to the Carbohydrate Monster on the window: “R’amen,” she spoke in a soft voice.

John Every and his girlfriend walked through the old cathedral. They walked over to a piece of art that the elderly were crowding around. There was an art structure on display. There were pirate statues. There were Sun-beings. There were normal folk. All of whom, were being touched, by His Noodle Appendage. The elderly looked upon the tribute with respect.

The young couple walked into the cemetery next to the cathedral. Each grave plot had a Death-rock with a small design of The Flying Spaghetti Monster on it. Usually the Death-rocks had words on them. “She was a kind woman.” “This man lived a life.” “This man and his mistresses met a swift death.” “She was TRULY touched by His Noodle.” There was a grieving family placing a small bowl of plain pasta next to one of the Death-rocks.

“Touching,” said Virginia-Mary (John Every’s girlfriend).

“You know, sometimes I get the feeling that things shouldn’t be this way. Shouldn’t there be a nicer way of saying it than ‘Death-rock?’ And shouldn’t there be a higher moral to live up to than this pasta monster?” John whispered to Virginia-Mary.

“Don’t be so offensive John. This is a cemetery.” Virginia-Mary chided John.

— End of Entry One, DJ RoboBiscuit

Noodle World Entry #2

Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a Holy Day.

John enjoyed his Thursday. The day was pleasant. John had some delicious Hibachi shrimp at lunch time and he devoured a succulent lamb kebab at dinner. Thursday was not a perfect day. While eating his Hibachi Shrimp at Speedy Japan (the quick japanese food in the strip mall) he was uncomfortable with the wall decor. There was a poster on the wall of a stout Asian man fishing in a small river with bamboo surrounding him (which John expected from a Japanese restaurant). However, next to the eastern influenced poster, there was a representation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Pasta Deity had one of his noodles around a samurai sword and at the bottom of the poster it read “HE is with Japan.”

John thought to himself, “This seems offensive to me. Shouldn’t the people of Japan have some kind of native beliefs?”

After a night of sleeping the day had become Friday. Many people were wearing their colanders. John usually did not wear a pasta strainer on his head. He personally thought it was “a little odd.”

He was having a hard time deciding on his Friday Lunch. As John drove down the road he thought, “Maybe a chicken sandwich.” He happened to be driving on BlackBeard Road which John remembered had a Chicken Phils. He became excited as he got closer, imagining the delicious taste of that savory chicken sandwich in his mouth (maybe even with a Phd Pepper [a sweet soft drink]).

As his car came upon the Chicken Restaurant, his heart dropped upon seeing the store lights were not on. “Damn! It’s Friday. Why would a fast casual restaurant see a need to close every Friday?! Don’t they know I want to eat their chicken?!” John was not happy.

As he drove to BeauJanes (another chicken restaurant) John thought questioning thoughts over the influence that religion should have over business … …

-End of Entry Number 2, Noodle World, DJ Robo Biscuit.

Noodle World Entry #3

(Slam Dunk, Basketball)

“Oh yeah! Big Dunk from B.J Besley!” The commentator was excited.

Besley, a tall african american male, made a circular motion with his index and middle finger.

“Besley! Stirring the pot!”

“Cooking up some pasta!” The commentators maintained their excitement.

Besley made some motions with his hands as if to open up an imaginary can …

“Oh My Noodle! Besley is opening a can of sauce!”

“Right you are Jim! Could be Marinara! He is adding the sauce into the noodles!”

“And he is stirring it up!”

“Showing some good respect to the church.”

B.J Besley reaches into his jersey and pulls out his chain, then he kisses it. On the end of the chain is a small, golden Noodle Monster.

“He’s a religious man alright! Without a doubt Besley is an individual who has indeed been touched by His Noodle.”

“So talented. The power of carbs definitely flows through his veins!”

“R’amen Jim. R’amen.”

John Every was watching the basketball game on his home television. He shook his head.

— End of Entry #3, Noodle World, DJ Robo Biscuit

Entry #4

I just don’t know man, I am having doubts… …

It seems hard to believe that this Noodle Monster is the creator!!! I just don’t feel that there is a connection between Pirates and Global warming. How do people know that it isn’t just a normally occurring phenomena?

Nobody feels weird about this? They don’t think that it’s odd for us to worship a Noodle Monster???

Wouldn’t it make more sense for our Diety to be … I don’t know … a man?

“Woah man, you are sounding kind of crazy.”

Wouldn’t a powerful god create man in his image? Why would a Gigantic Spaghetti Monster create human beings?

I know it’s the popular religion …. … but but but maybe there is an alternative?

I may consider seeking out a cult.

“Woah my man, I am a little bit worried about you.”

-End of Entry. (Doubt)

Entry #5

White male. Brown Beard. Brown hair. He wore a white robe. Sandals. His face was calm.

The hairy white male scanned the smooth lake surface. He slowly closed his eyes … … held them closed for 5 seconds and then opened them. He placed his right foot forward.

On the other side of the lake, their was a pirate. He was a smelly pirate and he had a beard. This pirate wore black boots and looked like a smelly pirate. This pirate enjoyed drinking Rum. His name was Smelly Alfredo.

Smelly Alfredo looked out towards the lake. There was a man. Smelly Alfredo saw this man.

“Garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr unbelievable. He be walking on the water.” Alfredo slurred his words.

The robed man with a beard was standing in the middle of the lake. His feet were firmly on the top of the lake surface. It appeared to be a miracle.

Smelly Alfredo reached into his Pirate Satchel (the official carrying sack of Pirate) and grabbed his Colander (Pasta Strainer). He placed the pasta device on his head. The colander infused him with Noodle Strength. As Smelly Alfredo looked out onto the Lake he could see that the white-bearded-man was being held above the water by a large Noodle. The Noodle was wrapped around his waist and the Noodley Noodle stretched up into the clouds.

“This man has been blessed by His Noodle.” Smelly Alfredo removed his colander and went back to sleep to dream Pirate dreams. “R’amen.”

-End of Entry, (Blasphemy).

Entry #6

The scholar sat in his chair. He was old and his eyes were deep. They were the eyes of knowledge and these eyes were a piercing green.

“There was a time when this world was not this way. People did not flock to the temples of Hubbard. His Noodle was not The Noodle. The happenings have been bizarre.”

“What do you mean?”

“Things were different. The Gods were different and the numbers were bigger. If you wanted to follow Jesus you didn’t have to do it in secret. But things changed within this world. Something happened.”

“But what is it? What happened?”

“It was the people. And the Young People. They rejected the religions. They thought they had outsmarted it.”

-End of Entry

Entry #7

John Every entered the basement. It was noisy. People were talking.

There was a man in the front of the room prepping for his presentation. He was wearing a robe and a fancy hat.

As John looked around the room he noticed a curiosity in the eyes of the people. He could see they were hungry for something and they seemed to have a fervent social desire. He sensed their desire for connection. It was in their eyes. Their eyes. They wanted … something.

John had a seat. He noticed there was a lower case letter “T” on the wall.

The robed man faced the crowd and began his talk.

“I thank you all for coming. We know why we are here in this place. This world is lacking faith … ”

The man in the robes began his talk.

“I say Hallelujah! I say Hallelujah!”

“You people, you need something! Something real! Something that is strong that you can feel!”

John Every looked around the room. He saw twinkles in the eyes of the gathered people.

“People are not happy! We are living in a Devil’s World! I feel sorry for the sinners out there! And I have compassion for the sinners in here! For we all have some sin!”

“The people of this world, they have betrayed the Lord! I’m talking about the almighty GOD! I’m talking about Jesus Christ!”

“How could they give up on our Lord and Savior? How could they accept a Monster made of Noodles?”

“It goes back to Nietzsche. We know the tale of the Madman. ‘God is dead. And we have killed him.’ That is what it was. It was Man. It was our Minds!”

“The people of this world. They thought they could outTHINK God! They thought they could use Logic and Reason to prove him not there. But let me tell you something, He is Real! I Believe! I can FEEL him! God is all-knowing and all-seeing! They thought they could hide from him and join forces with a Pasta Monster BUT I SAY NO!”

The people were cheering.

“You are on the path to salvation! You are on the true path!”

“And we will NOT engage in pre-marital sex! It is frowned upon by The Lord!”

John Every was enjoying the spirituality of this Christianity. But he felt uneasy about letting his belief have control over his sex life.

-End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

That is the tale so far.  The story of Noodle World will continue.   If you enjoyed the story, please share it.

 

Open Letter to Donald Trump

Dear Donald Trump,

Please stop hurting America.

Things in this country are changing.  I know some people do not like change.  “The Cheese has moved.”  The changing of America is something that Conservative White People must come to terms with.   Today in the USA there are more interracial couples and interracial friendships than there ever have been before.  Kids in public schools are learning and growing within a climate of diversity.    Children are learning in classrooms that have black students and asian students and hispanic students and white students.   Conservative White America can not stop the people of different races from coming together and loving one another.     Diversity promotes more diversity.

The nation is experiencing a wave of change.   Interracial couples will produce interracial children.   These interracial children will lead to even more diverse children.   And so on and so on.   People across the nation have learned that people should not be judged by the color of their skin, BUT by the content of their character.   I hope the people of this nation also know that the same goes for religion.   People of differing religions CAN get along because we are all ONE people and we are all ONE nation.   Stop dividing the nation Donald Trump!

America does not need Xenophobia.

You are just like CNN’s Crossfire: Bad for America.  When Jon Stewart took down Crossfire, it was a television show that was hurting America in that it was DIVISIVE.  It was not a debate show, it was simply a polarizing argument between sides that would not compromise.  Mr. Trump, you are not a UNIFY-ER.  If you were somebody that wanted to Unite People then why are you so committed to building a wall on the Mexican border?  If you want to Unite People, shouldn’t America be a home to Syrian refugees?  Can America be a home to Muslims?    I want to be clear:  NOT ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS.  Right?  Just like how not all White Christian Men are in the KKK.  Right?  I bet you can find SOME White God-Loving Men in the KKK but clearly not ALL White Christian Men are in the KKK.    Right?   MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT TERRORISTS.

Please stop fear-mongering and sensationalizing.   America is not a “White Nation.”  This country is a melting pot.  This country is FOR diversity.   This country is FOR immigrants.  After all, aren’t we ALL Immigrants?

If America is going to be throwing their votes to a fascist.  I’ll be giving mine to Vermin Supreme.  At least Vermin is a “FRIENDLY fascist.”

Please stop hurting America.  Let the love in.

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT, concerned American citizen

Fantastic Movies (2016)(March 8th)

DJ ROBO BISCUIT likes movies.  He enjoys watching them.  He enjoys pondering them.

Spotlight.  Spotlight was a good movie.  It had my attention all the way through.  It was about the “Spotlight team” at the Boston Globe.   They investigated the Catholic Church.  I know it sounds crazy but … there were Priests molesting kids.  And there were A LOT of priests doing it.   Gotta recommend the movie.   SPOTLIGHT!

 

The End of the Tour.  This is a movie about David Foster Wallace.  He was a genius.   And he committed suicide.   The movie is the interview between David Lipsky and David Foster Wallace.   Obviously, artists become more famous after they die.  Based on DFW’s work, he had genius qualities.  Also, he was not a perfect person by any regards but as a character study the story is very interesting!   I gotta recommend The End of the Tour.

 

Me and Earl and The Dying Girl.  This film was excellent.  The style was great.  Also, be ready for some FEELS.  It will hit you.  It serves as a good platform for an interracial friendship and the tender relationship between an awkward teen and a Dying Girl.  I really enjoyed the film.  It is definitely not your typical high school movie.  Two Thumbs up (and as a tribute to Tim Heidecker “I gotta give it 5 Bags of Popcorn.”)

The Talented Mr. Ripley.   Fascinating but a little bit sickening.  The film was definitely interesting.   I find it interesting due to the idea of the relationships and also, the movie is possible because the players within the film are all part of the wealthy elite.

Honorable Mention:

Adult World.  The movie has charm.  I enjoyed the soundtrack.  I liked the way this film FELT.  I have a little crush on Emma Roberts.  Definitely a great film for recent college grads, I think the film brings value in that way.

 

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT