White male. Brown Beard. Brown hair. He wore a white robe. Sandals. His face was calm.
The hairy white male scanned the smooth lake surface. He slowly closed his eyes … … held them closed for 5 seconds and then opened them. He placed his right foot forward.
On the other side of the lake, their was a pirate. He was a smelly pirate and he had a beard. This pirate wore black boots and looked like a smelly pirate. This pirate enjoyed drinking Rum. His name was Smelly Alfredo.
Smelly Alfredo looked out towards the lake. There was a man. Smelly Alfredo saw this man.
“Garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr unbelievable. He be walking on the water.” Alfredo slurred his words.
The robed man with a beard was standing in the middle of the lake. His feet were firmly on the top of the lake surface. It appeared to be a miracle.
Smelly Alfredo reached into his Pirate Satchel (the official carrying sack of Pirate) and grabbed his Colander (Pasta Strainer). He placed the pasta device on his head. The colander infused him with Noodle Strength. As Smelly Alfredo looked out onto the Lake he could see that the white-bearded-man was being held above the water by a large Noodle. The Noodle was wrapped around his waist and the Noodley Noodle stretched up into the clouds.
“This man has been blessed by His Noodle.” Smelly Alfredo removed his colander and went back to sleep to dream Pirate dreams. “R’amen.”
-End of Entry, (Blasphemy).