Pokemon Red/Blue are Still BadAss (Yes.)

Red and Blue are packed full of Badass-ness.   There is no doubt.

Like that Rival battle theme (the final battle)! YES!   When that theme was playing you were thinking “This is some REAL shit happening right here!”     The music in the Pokemon Mansion — you are thinking “WOAH!  This is kind of techno-y WOAH!    oh shit I just picked up Solarbeam! YES!”

And then there is the Gym Leader Battle Music!   YES!    Orgasmically intense!   Everyone is thinking the same thing: “’bout to get one more badge playa!”     “HA HA HA foolish Erica, I picked Charizard — burn burn burn burn burn GAME OVER!”

And those designs!   Pikachu was a little chubby, and Raichu was a HUGE fatty!  Muk and Weezing looked exactly the way they should!   Mr. Mime was a Pokemon you don’t let near your children (“uh oh I’m about to touch something!”).    In Red/Blue Rhyhorn looked pretty derpy.     Mewtwo was a straight up Alien.   Arbok was HUGE!    Gloom was drooling.   And DRAGONITE just looked strange!    He is supposed to be a total badass, which is why you leveled up that Dratini…. and then he looks ultra derpy!        But DRAGONAIR is looking GOOD!     GENGAR, ALAKAZAM, BLASTOISE, and MACHAMP!   They all look great!

The game has an awesome soundtrack!    There are some game-changing moments.   Like if you catch that Dugtrio in the cave, you just gained an instant strong pokemon that can crush Lt. Surge!      You get the eevee and BOOM!   Flareon or Jolteon!     Once you stumble upon Zapdos in the Power Plant, OMG you can get rid of your electric type and flying type because Zapdos is a BEAST!

The game simply has a high level of “coolness.”   Your rival was tough (and an asshole  [especially for showing up when you get out of Dark Cave WTF?!?!]).    It has a definite sense of adventure and discovery.   AND the Elite Four was HARD!   Their pokemon were all high level and your Rival has a Level 70 Blastoise (big shift from the sequel GOLD where the Elite Four maxes out at 50).   Be SURE to get Ice Beam so you have a chance at beating LANCE (he has that cape).

HIGHLY RECOMMEND you check out the original pokemon games.   They are badass and they are CLASSIC!   gotta catch em’ all!

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT

Published by

DJRoboBiscuit

Expert on Life (Movies, Books, Television, Gaming, Tennis). Aspiring Novelist and Philosopher. Big Fan of Satire and Parody.

2 thoughts on “Pokemon Red/Blue are Still BadAss (Yes.)”

Comments are closed.