Getting Started with Personal Finance

 

If you are totally new to the concept of Personal Finance or Financial Literacy, this is a good place to start.

Let’s just say you have 3 basic “levels” (the goal is to make it up to Super Saiyan 3 #Goku #BetterThanVegeta #DragonBallZ)

Many people live paycheck-to-paycheck.  You work all week for two weeks and then you get paid.  POOF!  The money is gone.  It has been spent.    Food, Car, House, significant other, fresh shoes, credit card payment, WHATEVER the money is gone.         You are stuck in a vicious cycle:   Work Work Work – get paid- money is all gone – Work Work Work        and so on and so on    until you are an old person ready to retire with no savings  and it is a PROBLEM.

People who are doing better than P2P (Paycheck-to-Paycheck) are able to save some of their money.      The Paycheck comes in and some of the money is put away into savings.  A lot of times the savings will be spent, possibly on a “nice family vacation” or perhaps on a college fund for the kids (A respectable expense).

If you want to master personal finance you want to get to Super Saiyan 3 level: Your Money Works For You.  The money that you have saved you have invested it.  Or the money that you use, it is involved in a business.   INVEST and/or CREATE PASSIVE INCOME!    Make your money while you sleep or make your money without having to go to work.    Being a Bestselling author is one way to do it.   Another way to do it is to be a YouTube star (see PewDeePie).   or REAL ESTATE!  (Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki).

This should be enough info to get you started.   The internet is full of material and content that educates about Financial Literacy.   A good guy to start will is Dave Ramsey or possibly even Tony Robbins (Famous Self-Help Guru).

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT

The Connected Countries of Western Pangea (A North American Satire)

“In recent news, an innocent man was shot dead.”  The newswoman was talking.  She was a pretty girl, with blond hair and blue eyes (obviously born and groomed to read the news on television).  “The 26 year old man, Michael Johnson, was shot and killed by a 55 year old Timothy Flanders.   The car of Timothy Flanders slid off the road due to ice, as Johnson parked his car and tried to come to Flanders’ aid … Flanders emerged from his car behaving in a belligerent way and fired his automatic pistol into Johnson.   While Johnson was on the ground, Flanders fired 3 more times, killing Johnson.    Flanders then got back into his car.   The Police and SWAT team came to arrest him; he resisted arrest.”  The blond girl looked into the camera, only slightly phased by the story.  “A tragic story indeed.   In recent news, a local bakery produced the world’s biggest cookie … … ”

Over in Eastern Pangea, 26 year old Graduate Students laughed at the stupidity of the people of Western Pangea.    “Can you believe this?”  “It is totally crazy over there.” “This is what happens when anybody can get a gun.”  The Eastern Pangea students laughed and laughed and drank some tea.

In Western Pangea, The supporters of guns were preparing their comeback.

White Leadership candidate #1:  The people of this great nation MUST have guns!  Without them we will be victims of terror!

White Leadership candidate #2: As human beings it is our God-given right to have access to guns!  I have faith that the people of Western Pangea will do the right thing and support our civil liberties!

White Leadership candidate #3:  It is a tragedy for that young man to lose his life, HOWEVER, it can not be calculated how many lives guns have SAVED as a result of the people of this GREAT nation having access to guns.   And once I am elected as your White Leader, I will ensure the supply of guns flows easily to the people!  So we may guarantee our safety on Domestic Soil!   God Bless Western Pangea!

“That’s our man right there,” spoke Bob Smith.   Bob Smith and Alan Ryan sat in high-backed chairs in their local Golf-and-Swim Club.  “White Leadership Candidate #3, I think he has our best interests at heart.”

Alan Ryan spoke up.  “It looks like this is the kind of man that the Western Pangea Gun Association can throw its vast resources behind.”

“All of these damn liberals are going to get up in arms about this young man’s death.  We are going to have to double down and make sure the people of Western Pangea know of the constant danger they are in.”  Bob Smith looked confident.

Members of the WPGA prepared to make numerous appearances on POX News and educate the people of Western Pangea about the Absolute Need for widespread access to guns.  Also, they made sure to prepare arguments in regards to the “Paper of Rights” and the necessary Freedom of the people to own guns.

Meanwhile, the Parents of Michael Johnson mourned the senseless death of their only son.

— January 25th, 2015 ; Dr. DJ Robo Biscuit

 

 

Noodle World — Entry #3

(Slam Dunk, Basketball)

“Oh yeah!  Big Dunk from B.J Besley!”  The commentator was excited.

Besley, a tall african american male, made a circular motion with his index and middle finger.

“Besley!  Stirring the pot!”

“Cooking up some pasta!”  The commentators maintained their excitement.

Besley made some motions with his hands as if to open up an imaginary can …

“Oh My Noodle!  Besley is opening a can of sauce!”

“Right you are Jim!  Could be Marinara!  He is adding the sauce into the noodles!”

“And he is stirring it up!”

“Showing some good respect to the church.”

B.J Besley reaches into his jersey and pulls out his chain, then he kisses it.  On the end of the chain is a small, golden Noodle Monster.

“He’s a religious man alright!  Without a doubt Besley is an individual who has indeed been touched by His Noodle.”

“So talented.  The power of carbs definitely flows through his veins!”

“R’amen Jim.  R’amen.”

John Every was watching the basketball game on his home television.  He shook his head.

— End of Entry #3, Noodle World, DJ Robo Biscuit

Noodle World – Entry #2

Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a Holy Day.

John enjoyed his Thursday.  The day was pleasant.  John had some delicious Hibachi shrimp at lunch time and he devoured a succulent lamb kebab at dinner.  Thursday was not a perfect day.  While eating his Hibachi Shrimp at Speedy Japan (the quick japanese food in the strip mall) he was uncomfortable with the wall decor.   There was a poster on the wall of a stout Asian man fishing in a small river with bamboo surrounding him  (which John expected from a Japanese restaurant).  However, next to the eastern influenced poster, there was a representation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  The Pasta Deity had one of his noodles around a samurai sword and at the bottom of the poster it read “HE is with Japan.”

John thought to himself, “This seems offensive to me.  Shouldn’t the people of Japan have some kind of native beliefs?”

After a night of sleeping the day had become Friday.  Many people were wearing their colanders.  John usually did not wear a pasta strainer on his head.  He personally thought it was “a little odd.”

He was having a hard time deciding on his Friday Lunch.  As John drove down the road he thought, “Maybe a chicken sandwich.”   He happened to be driving on BlackBeard Road which John remembered had a Chicken Phils.    He became excited as he got closer, imagining the delicious taste of that savory chicken sandwich in his mouth (maybe even with a Phd Pepper [a sweet soft drink]).

As his car came upon the Chicken Restaurant, his heart dropped upon seeing the store lights were not on.  “Damn!  It’s Friday.  Why would a fast casual restaurant see a need to close every Friday?!  Don’t they know I want to eat their chicken?!”  John was not happy.

As he drove to BeauJanes (another chicken restaurant) John thought questioning thoughts  over the influence that religion should have over business … …

End of Entry Number 2, Noodle World, DJ Robo Biscuit.

Noodle World — Entry #1

(The First Entry, Noodle World)

The young couple entered the place of worship.  They saw high ceilings and wooden pews.  There were old people walking around slowly.  As John Every looked up at the glass paned windows his brow crumpled slightly.  On the glass panes was a beautiful design which had dated back for centuries:  The Flying Spaghetti Monster.   There it was in all of its magnificence.  The Noodles.  The Meatballs.  The Eyes.

The elderly entered the ancient wooden doors.  There was a tiny bowl of marinara sauce next to the door.  The old women reached down two fingers, dipped them into the marinara sauce, and began her homage.  She made it look as her two fingers were stirring a pot of spaghetti and then placed the marinara sauce into her mouth.  She then looked up to the Carbohydrate Monster on the window: “R’amen,” she spoke in a soft voice.

John Every and his girlfriend walked through the old cathedral.  They walked over to a piece of art that the elderly were crowding around.  There was an art structure on display. There were pirate statues.  There were Sun-beings.  There were normal folk.  All of whom, were being touched, by His Noodle Appendage.  The elderly looked upon the tribute with respect.

The young couple walked into the cemetery next to the cathedral.  Each grave plot had a Death-rock with a small design of The Flying Spaghetti Monster on it.  Usually the Death-rocks had words on them.  “She was a kind woman.”  “This man lived a life.” “This man and his mistresses met a swift death.” “She was TRULY touched by His Noodle.”  There was a grieving family placing a small bowl of plain pasta next to one of the Death-rocks.

“Touching,” said Virginia-Mary (John Every’s girlfriend).

“You know, sometimes I get the feeling that things shouldn’t be this way.  Shouldn’t there be a nicer way of saying it than ‘Death-rock?’ And shouldn’t there be a higher moral to live up to than this pasta monster?” John whispered to Virginia-Mary.

“Don’t be so offensive John.  This is a cemetery.” Virginia-Mary chided John.

— End of Entry One, DJ RoboBiscuit